And Yet, I Won't Regret From Now Until I Die
by Eriksangelofmusic4ever
Summary: "Remember, when the time comes, shoot. Only if you have to - but shoot to kill." Ever wonder why Erik stood beside Christine on stage and was never shot at? This is a different take on the ending and sequeal to our beloved Phantom of the Opera. E/C slash
1. Chapter 1

**Erik's POV**

I never imagined myself to be a desperate man. I have lived my life alone, eating alone, sleeping alone, even playing my music alone. It was always just me…alone in my lair. But when Christine came along, it was as if the angels had finally looked down upon me. She was my light in darkness, my heaven to my hell, my everything! Was it so terrible for someone such as me to fall in love? A sin you could call it, but I was a living, breathing man, and unfortunately, men had urges. I have lived upon this earth for thirty-six winters and never once during those winters did I ever experience the joys of the flesh. The closest thing I ever got to experiencing the real thing were pictures in books. And when Christine came into my life, I had thought about nothing more than being wrapped up within my blankets with her.

Oh, how my body ached for such an intimate touch. Just to lay my lips upon her forehead would send me straight to heaven! I needed her, I wanted her! I wanted the rights every other normal man had! I wanted a wife to take for walks on Sundays. I wanted someone to share meals with, to share my music, to tell my stories to. I even wanted to carry my wife off to bed when she fell asleep beside the fire. Christine was my only hope of that ever happening, and for months, I had been in competition with her young fop! The fool! How dare he march into her life and try to steal her away from me! He even proposed to her! What hurt my heart worse was that she accepted! After everything we've been through… And tonight, after my performance of Don Juan, the fop was planning on taking her away! I wouldn't allow it! I had to do something! And therefore, I wouldn't let this happen.

My plan was simple. My plan was to take the stage in Piange's place after killing him, seducing my angel to love me…The last act of a desperate lover!

I was standing in front of my mirror in my bedroom, adjusting my wig and mask. After buttoning up my shirt, I turned to don my jacket and cape, when I heard a familiar voice calling me from the entrance to my lair.

"Erik? Erik, open up, man! We need to talk this instant!"

I rolled my eyes, knowing this voice anywhere. I strolled to my gate, spotting the dargona standing there with a desperate look upon his face.

"And what brings you here on this dreary night, Nadir? Can't you see that I'm in the middle of getting ready for what could be the most important performance of my life?"

I clicked open the latch, allowing the gate to open. My Persian friend scurried in, locking the gate from behind him.

"That's what I came to speak to you about, Erik- You can't go through with this!"

"Oh, please, don't come crying to me with this poppycock."

"Erik, I'm serious." he gasped. "There's an entire uproar above. Monsieur De Chagney has persuaded Andre and Firmin to call in the authorities. The doors are locked Erik… There is no way of escaping. They have guards at every box, at every door…"

"And let them come! I'm not afraid of a few guards…"

"Erik, please…"

Nadir grabbed my arm, but I pushed him away.

"No, Nadir! I have lived my entire life alone. Christine has been the light within my darkness and I refuse to let her leave! I need to do this…"

I threw on my cape, turning in full costume to Nadir who was still standing there.

"They have been ordered to shoot, Erik." he firmly stated. "And only shoot to kill."

But I wasn't listening to him. I refused to give up on winning my angel over.

"Are you finished, Daroga?"

"Erik-"

"No! Now you're going to make me late. The opera is already starting…"

"Erik, I'm only warning you as a friend."

I hopped into my gondola, rowing it away from my lair.

"You're not my friend…I needn't anyone but Christine…"

Nadir continued to call for me, but I never looked back. Yes, perhaps other men would have turned back, but I refused to do so. I wanted Christine at my side, and I would have her. I loved her more than anything in the entire world, and tonight, she would be mine. I hid behind the stage curtain, waiting like a lion stalking its prey. Piange was on stage, placing on a mask and Fedora…Finally, he came back behind the curtain to wait for his next scene, and that's when I pounced on him, strangling him with my lasso…And only when his eyes rolled to the back of his head did I stop and come out on stage with the cloak draped over my head… It was such a wonderful disguise, for no one knew who I was. My Christine was exquisite…so beautiful and pure. I approached her, running my hands along her body…Oh, how soft her flesh was…how wonderful! Such hands have never felt something so wonderful before. My nerves froze, blood rushing throughout my body. I had never been so close to her… Her curls smelled of roses, her body of lavender bath salts… Oh, what a rush! This was worth every risk! We sang _past the point of no return_… A song clear enough of its meaning. I had written this song while thinking about my angel. Each lyric was how I believed making love would be… Two passionate lovers, burying their bodies in one another, flesh burning on flesh… Blood rushing! Christine sat there on the bench that was being used as a prop, her hands running my own over her body! She felt just as I had imagined she would…. She was warm, her flesh soft, and flawless… How I wanted to show her how passionate I could be! Our positions were switched, and now she was standing behind me, as I sat on the bench that she had just risen from. Her hands wove themselves beneath my arms, her fingers brushing over my chest… Oh, no one had ever touched me there…Not even while I was wearing my shirt! Yes, there was fabric between her hands and my scarred flesh, but just to know she had touched me there sent erotic shivers down my spine. It made me wonder what her chest would feel like… These hands had never felt any part of the female body, only pictures of them in books, closing my eyes and imagining what one would feel like. My hand cautiously raised itself blindly as Christine stood behind me, placing itself over her chest… I gasped at such a feeling. Her breast! But when my hand shook in nervousness, she must have knew it was me. I grasped her hand, but this time, she fought, pulling away from me, but I grabbed back. The song was over now, her body so close to my own. And then, she lifted the cloak from off of my head! Why, Christine! Why! Everyone in the audience gasped, and I began to run for the stage curtain… No, no you fool! Turn around!

I stopped, turning back to her and lifting the ring from off of my pinky. This was why I had come tonight! This was why I had risked everything to be beside her.

"_Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime…save me, lead me from my solitude. Say you'll want me with you here, beside you…"_

I placed the ring upon her left finger.

"_Anywhere you go let me go too, Christine, that's all I ask of-"_

But I never got to finish, for a loud gunshot rang out and the worst pain I had ever felt struck me below my right side. When I dared to look up at box five, the fop was standing there beside a guard, a smoking gun still in his hand. The music had stopped, Christine looking me straight in the eyes… I reached my hand down over my cloak, to feel something sticky leaking from me… It hurt, oh, how it hurt! Searing agony that burned like the fires of hell!

"Shoot!" I looked back up at box five, Raoul demanding the guard to shoot me again. Before I even came out on stage, I had a plan, that plan being to disappear beneath the stage floor. Before the guard could shoot me again, I grabbed hold of Christine and stomped on the trap door with my foot, causing us to fall below the stage just as the second gunshot rang out. The entire audience was in an uproar now, I could hear the shouts from above. When Christine and I hit the floor below, I could hardly get up, blood and pain pouring from my side. I cringed, placing my hand tightly over my bleeding wound.

"Erik…."

Christine came to my aid, pressing her hand against my own.

"We need to get you to your lair….quickly…"

"_Track down this murderer he must be found!"_

Voices echoed off my walls, making it clear that this night had been a mistake. I was not only being hunted, but I was also injured, and severely… Christine lifted me to my feet, pulling my arm around her neck to support me. Blood was pouring from my body, my sight going blurry from all the pain I was feeling.

"Erik, stay with me…"

Christine was begging me to stay with her, and therefore, I would… I fought to stay awake, nearly dying the moment we were inside my home. Christine placed me down on the couch, rushing around as I sat there pressing against my wound.

"Erik, where is your brandy?"

I couldn't speak, for I was nearly out of breath. I pointed to the cabinet on the other end of the room, hoping it would be enough. By this time, I plopped back against the cushions, nearly at the end of my rope.

"Erik…"

Christine pulled my shirt out of my trousers and began to unbutton it. My entire side was gushing blood, my hand stained in the crimson red.

"Press tightly, Erik…"

But my grasp was coming loose, and my eyes growing tired.

"Ch…Chri…" I couldn't speak, nor could I move. She must have found my bottle of brandy, for she was pulling open the cork as quickly as she could. From outside, my alarm rang, making it obvious that someone was entering my lair. The alarm had caused Christine to drop the bottle of brandy, it smashing into a million pieces on the floor.

She needed to go! My angel needed to leave…. If she were caught trying to help me, it would be over for her.

"Go…" I murmured, "G..Go…"

Christine stood there, looking towards the lake, and then at me.

"No, I can't leave you…"

She pulled me up from the couch, her body barely being able to support me.

"Come on, Erik…" she whispered, everything is going to be all right. For as small as my angel was, she refused to stop dragging my boney body to safety. We were at the shore of my lake, when her body gave out and I plopped down at the water's edge. Water splashed against the top of my head, my black wig still staying in place.

"Christine?"

A manly voice called out for her, that voice belonging to the boy!

"Raoul…" Christine lowly gasped his name, working hard to move me away from the water's edge. She looked around for anywhere to hide me, coming up with only the large, wooden bin I used to store away my anchors and ropes for my gondola.

"In here, Erik…"

She stuffed my slender body into the bin, the ropes brushing uncomfortably against my skin.

"Stay awake…" she warned. "Stay quiet."

"Christine!"

My angel closed the lid, making everything dark. Raoul must have found her, for their voices were so close to me.

"Where is he?"

"He drowned in the lake!" Christine exclaimed. "I pushed him into it after he dragged me down here…it's over, Raoul."

"You're telling the truth?" he asked.

I heard footsteps coming closer to me, so close that they must have been right outside the bin. Oh, if he opened this bin and found me-It would surely be over. I wanted to whimper in agony, but I held it in, pressing my hand against my wound.

"Come along, Christine, we must leave here… The mob will be down shortly…"

I heard the splashing and rowing of my gondola, making it obvious that they had taken the boat. I was wet, cold, tired, bleeding, and slowly slipping away. I wasn't sure how long I laid there on top of those ropes, but it was long…I heard smashing, angry voices, even seen the flames of torches…but I was never spotted.

"Erik?"

I heard my name being called hours later, but I was at death's door. When the lid of the bin I was in finally came away, I prepared myself for the death I was most likely going to endure at the hands of the mob. But instead, I saw Nadir standing there.

"Oh, Erik…"

He lifted my body out of that horrible storage bin and supported my weight with his arm.

"We have to get you out of here… Miss Christine told me where you were. I couldn't come down until all search parties have been called off by the mob."

I couldn't hang on any longer… I had promised Christine to stay awake, but I couldn't… And therefore, I closed my eyes and let my body enter the blackness of my certain death.

"Erik…"

I came back to consciousness, Nadir dragging me into the night. It was raining, making my body colder than it already was.

"Come on, man…" he groaned. "Work with me…."

But I couldn't.

"You're really going to make me carry you, aren't you, Erik…"

I was having a hard time breathing, and that's when Nadir propped my body onto his back. I blacked out again, knowing that I had to be dying this time.

When I felt my back land on something hard, my eyes flew open and I took notice to the strange room that I was now in. I saw a counter, a stove, even an ice box… It only took a few moments to realize that I was laying on the kitchen table.

"You've lost so much blood…"

From out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nadir pacing back and forth, pulling out towels from the linen closet and coming back to press them against my side.

"You need a doctor…"

I tried to close my eyes again, but the Persian slapped my cheek.

"Hey, stay awake, man! No more naps… I need to find a doctor…"

He paced a moment more, pulling at his dark hair.

"What am I saying? There won't be a man in all of Paris who wouldn't turn you in upon seeing you laying here. At least not until everything calms down in a day or two…"

How I wanted him to shut his mouth and let me rest, but I knew he was going to do anything but that.

"A friend of mine back in Persia got shot once." he continued. "I assisted him to the infirmary and watched the doctor take out the bullet. I could do it, you know… Perhaps, not as well as the doctors would, but something needs to be done."

He went rummaging through the drawers, coming back with a few household items. I was freezing, my body barley being able to hold on another moment.

"Do you trust me, Erik?"

Did I? I wasn't particularly sure. He hadn't turned me in… he perhaps even saved my life tonight.

I couldn't speak, but managed to nod. It was as good an answer as any, and with that, his hands began to work away the buttons of my shirt. When he was down to nothing but my scarred chest, he loosened my trousers and pulled them down enough to expose the full extent of my injury.

"…Oh, Allah…" his voice didn't sound at the least one bit promising. "What if the bullet cut an artery? Perhaps that's why you're bleeding so much…"

His fingers grazed over my side, a new pricking sensation sending my body into a fit of pure agony.

"Stay still, Erik." he warned. "I have to get this bullet out of you…"

I was on the brink of passing out again, but fought against it. It was right above my hip! The damn bullet had entered me right above my blasted hip! Oh, how painful this was… I couldn't take it… I needed something!

"…N..Nadir-"

"Erik, I haven't anything to give you."

My friend disappeared for a few moments, coming back with a wooden spoon in hand. It wasn't chloroform, but it would have to suffice. He stuck the handle between my teeth so I could bite down on it, the pricking sensation occurring once more. This man was digging into my flesh, so deep that it was churning my stomach.

"I've found it…"

I relaxed my muscles, my flesh burning like it once did after a whipping from my master.

"I'm going to stitch you up now…"

As the needle wove in and out of my wound, I grunted and bit down on the spoon. This entire surgery had been more painful than being shot. For what seemed like the longest few moments of my life, that sharp needle drove me straight to madness! What hurt me even worse was when he pulled it tight, causing my flesh to do the same.

"Not bad for an amateur."

The man bandaged my entire torso, helping me up off the table and carrying me to another part of the house we were in. I don't remember much after that, for I had allowed myself to black out, and this time, I didn't wake…

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><p><strong>Greetings once again readers! I told you I would be back with a new story. This one seems promising. Anyway, please review and I will be updating after Love Lives On is complete within a few days. Happy Reading! I'll be updating between writing chapters for this and working with a publishing company to publish my first book "The Escapades of Augie Atwell." It will be on store shelves soon... Will keep everyone updated!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Erik's POV**

When I woke, my whole body burned with a pain I could only describe as if someone were jabbing me with needles over and over again. My sight was blurry, but from what I could see, there was a wardrobe on the other side of the room, stone walls surrounding me, and I was in a bed. Yes, it was warm, but I was freezing. I lifted my hand to my face, noticing that I could feel a chill against my distorted flesh. My hand might have been heavy, but I gasped when I noticed that my mask and wig were missing.

"Don't worry about such things, man…" I looked towards the door to find Nadir walking in. "It's safely laying on the night table."

Not believing him, I looked over and to my relief, found that both, wig and mask were laying there.

"You needed to breath easier. That damn contraption was cutting off all your air."

Nadir placed a cool compress against my forehead, making the chill in my body ten times worse.

"You've contracted a nasty fever, Erik. Probably from your wound becoming infected."

He threw another blanket on the bed and tucked the ends beneath the mattress to keep in the warmth.

"Just keep holding on, Erik." he reminded me. "I'm going to find you a doctor soon enough."

There was a few moments of silence, and then, the sound of knocking at the door. I gasped in fright, believing that someone had seen Nadir drag me here. Nadir, on the other hand didn't seem to be frightened at all. He simply walked away, leaving me alone. I lay there, listening to the commotion coming from downstairs…

"I hope you didn't have any trouble finding me." came Nadir's voice.

"No, not at all."

I knew that voice! It was Christine's! But what was she doing here? I heard them coming up the stairs now…and oh, my mask! She would never accept me without it. I was too weak to reach for my mask, but that didn't stop me from trying to hide. I pressed my deformed side into the pillow, so that only my good side was showing, closing my eyes to make it seem as though I were asleep.

"….He woke a little while ago. Though, he's still not out of the woods just yet."

They were in the room now, I could sense them. I even felt my angel's soft fingers brushing against my neck.

"He's so hot…"

"Yes, terrible fever this one…If you wouldn't mind staying with him, Christine, I shall go try and make arrangements for him to see a doctor."

"I can stay." she said. "But only for a little bit. I told Raoul I was going to the cemetery to pray for my father. If I'm gone more than an hour or so, he'll come looking for me."

"I shall be back as soon as I can."

"Has he been up and alert?"

"Only once, but I wasn't able to get a thing out of him. Just keep his head cool and his body comfortable. If he wakes, try to get some liquid in him…"

When I heard the door close, I opened my eyes, barely being able to keep them open.

"Erik," my angel's voice cooed my name…oh, how it sounded like a soft whisper.

She was looking down on me with a concerned look upon her face, her fingers lightly brushing my blonde wisps of hair.

"Mon ange, why don't we get you onto your back. You would feel much better."

Yes, laying here on my side was not comfortable, but it was keeping my hideous face hidden from her eyes. I knew she could no bear the sight of me, for she screamed in horror the first time she saw me. My angel's hands moved beneath my neck to try and move me, but I groaned, in hopes that she would stop.

"Erik, what's wrong?"

I looked towards my mask, causing her eyes to wander to the article as well.

"Erik, it's all right." she promised me. "Your face holds no horror to me now. You couldn't possibly be comfortable wearing such a thing in your condition."

Her soft hands moved beneath my neck once more.

"Let me help you."

I was moved onto my back her expression never changing once my face was entirely exposed to her. On the night table, there was a pitcher of ice water placed there. Christine worked quickly in pouring me a glass and working her way beneath my head to hold it up in order for me to take a drink. How my throat felt like desert sand, parched and dry… Though, my entire body was freezing as if I had been running around naked in a snowstorm. But how wonderful it was to have Christine standing before me, holding up my head and taking care of me as if I were her sick offspring. Yes, there were times in the past when I have cared for her when she had taken ill, but never her taking care of me… No one had ever cared for poor Erik when he was ill, not even his own mother. It was rather pleasurable, actually…

"Did you have enough?" she kindly asked.

I nodded and she placed my head back down on my pillow. I was exhausted from shivering, my angel rubbing the blankets close to my body in an attempt to warm me.

"Nadir will be back soon enough, Erik. You just have to keep holding on a little longer."

I wasn't sure how much longer I could possibly hold on. My side was burning so terribly, that each movement I made only caused it to throb harder. Christine took a damp cloth and began to run it along my forehead and neck. The chill from the water caused me to shiver worse than I was, but she assured me that it would break away my fever. I was too tired to care, and therefore, I closed my eyes. I must have fallen into a deep sleep, for when I woke, I heard voices coming from the other end of the room…both voices belonging to Nadir and Christine.

"We have to bring Erik to him." Nadir said. "He refuses to come see Erik here."

"Monsieur Khan, I cannot help you." Christine argued. "Raoul would know something is up if he found me gone tonight. For Erik's safety, I think it's best if I sat this one out."

"Miss Christine, I cannot do this on my own. Someone needs to sit with Erik during the carriage ride to the doctor. You would be helping Erik greatly if you agreed to do this. Just tell Raoul that you're going to bed early and sneak out."

"Nadir, really, I can't."

"I'll make sure you're back to the estate by one thirty at the latest. Please, Christine, for your angel's sake…"

There was a long pause, and then Christine's heavy sigh.

"All right, Nadir. But if I agree to help you, it cannot be told to the doctor who will be treating Erik. If my name were to get out-"

"It won't, Christine." Nadir assured. "I promise you."

For a while more, I laid in silence, my head spinning with the need to sleep off this terrible fever. When I felt the blankets being pulled away, I looked up and saw Nadir standing over me with a pile of clothes in his hand.

"Come on, Erik," his hand swung beneath my neck and scooped my body up, lifting me from off the mattress. "It's time to get dressed."

I was shivering so badly without the blankets. Not only that, but I was also wearing nothing but my undergarments, making the air of his room feel like an artic breeze against my flesh.

"Shit…"

I heard Nadir mumble the words in a worried tone, my eyes looking downward at my bandage to notice that it was stained in a crimson red. Nadir worked quickly at slipping my arms into the sleeves of a clean shirt, frantically buttoning it up.

"You're burning up, man…Worse than a few hours ago.."

Nadir was working on getting a pair of trousers up my waist, my body heavy and worthless.

"Help me, Erik…Work with me a little…"

But I couldn't. When I was dressed, he laid me down to get the door. A few moments later, I heard Christine's voice, and then, her worried gasp.

"The carriage is outside." Nadir exclaimed.

"Let's make sure he's covered…"

Christine placed a cloak around my body, lifting my arm to swing it behind her head. She stood me up, Nadir grabbing hold of my other side in order to walk me to the door. I was so weak that I couldn't even raise my head. Once inside the carriage, they laid me down across the bench-like seat, Christine placing my head in her lap. I was shivering so much, that Christine wrapped her hands around my body in order to warm me. Oh, what a feeling it was to feel her hands against me.

"You can do it, Erik…" she said. "Just a little longer…"

Once Nadir was inside, the carriage was off to where ever it was that I was being taken to. The bumping from the potholes in the road caused discomfort to my body, my eyes growing tired as each moment passed.

"Don't let him sleep." Nadir warned Christine. "He'll go into shock."

Yes, I tried my hardest to close my eyes, but every time I did so, Christine would lightly slap my cheek in order to stop it. I was bleeding again, for I could feel the sticky substance wetting the shirt I wore beneath the cloak that was wrapped around me. To keep me awake, my angel began to sing, her voice grabbing my attention. She was singing something so lovely, a song I had sung to her when she was ill. When the carriage finally stopped, I was lifted up, and dragged into some strange looking door. My heart was beating faster than ever now, my sight going blurry as each second passed. Voices drained out, all except for the sound of my heartbeat. There was now a stranger standing over me, a man I had never seen before. His hands worked away at my shirt, my eyes beginning to become heavy, heavier than ever before. When his hands skimmed over my wound, I cringed in agony, his fingers like fire against my flesh. And then, I blacked out…

* * *

><p>When my eyes fluttered open again, everything hurt. The stranger was working on my wound, wrapping it with new bandages. When he was finished, he buttoned my shirt back up and began working on filling up a syringe with some sort of medicine.<p>

"This is for your pain…" his deep voice assured, sticking the needle into my buttock. It hurt, but warmth soon filled my body and my pain faded. When Nadir was called back into the room, he approached me, lightly slapping my cheek and smiling.

"I knew you wouldn't leave me early, my friend…"

"Two doses a day." the stranger warned. "Plenty of bed rest and clean dressings after each bath."

"I'll be sure to do so…"

Nadir tried to hand the stranger a wad of money, but he wouldn't accept it.

"That won't be necessary. Just keep it and get him out of here before anyone sees you…"

Nadir thanked the man one last time before helping me up. My stitches were pulled tight by my body's shifting, causing terrible discomfort in my side. I was only on my feet for a few seconds before being laid back down inside the carriage again. My angel was there, running her fingers through my wisps of hair.

"You're doing great, Erik…"

When Nadir climbed back inside the carriage, he shut the door and looked at Christine.

"His fever should come down in a few days. The doctor said he'll be all right."

The next thing I knew, I was back inside Nadir's house and being carried up the stairs.

"How much longer do we have until you have to be home?" Nadir asked Christine as he placed me down on the mattress.

"About an hour or so."

"I'm a man of my word, Christine." he assured. "I'll have you back by one."

"I know, Nadir."

"Perhaps we should bathe him. The doctor said we must keep him clean. Truth of it all being, that I'm not certain when he was last washed. He's beginning to smell a bit ripe from the fever."

"I'll do it." Christine replied. "Why don't you go downstairs and make him something warm to drink. It will help with his fever."

"All right then. Go into the other room and fill a basin with warm, soapy water. I'm going to undress him."

The last thing I wanted was for Christine to see me naked. My flesh was covered in scars, hideous and repugnant scars. I didn't want her to think of me as a monster, and I knew such a sight would do just that. I tried to fight Nadir when he was unbuttoning my shirt, but he stopped me.

"Erik, you need to relax, man. I'll be sure you're kept in your undergarments. I'll change you into a fresh pair."

And that's exactly what he did. After changing me into a new pair of undergarments, he laid me down, just as Christine was coming back into the room. Her eyes gazed over my body, gasping at the sight of my scars.

"Not a pretty sight, is it, Christine?" Nadir remarked. "A world of cruelty."

With that, Nadir left the room, leaving Christine and I alone. Her eyes turned towards the basin of water, her hands dipping a sponge into the liquid, wringing it out before wiping it along the side of my neck.

"You were very brave tonight." Christine softy washed from my neck down to my shoulders, the warm water soothing my cold body. "This will make you feel comfortable. Nadir is going to bring you something to help you sleep."

Christine ran the sponge down my chest and over each leg, taking care in handling my body as if handling glass.

"Thank you…" I couldn't bear to say much, but I needed to thank her. My angel had snuck out in order to help me. Christine's smile grew, her hands moving to my mask.

"Christine, n…no…" I softly pleaded.

"I don't want you to get an infection, Erik."

She gently pulled away my mask, her hands working on cleaning my deformity as if handling fragile glass.

"I never asked you, Erik." she began. "But does your face pain you?"

"N….not much…On..only when…when I-"

I couldn't even finish, for I hadn't the strength.

"Forgive me, Erik. I shouldn't be trying to have a conversation with you, especially after your rough night. I've never seen so many scars before…"

I softly moaned, as if trying to switch the subject. My angel must have known, for she switched conversations.

"All clean…" she happily replied, covering me up with my blankets and tucking me in.

"You are warm enough?"

I nodded, Christine's hands fluffing up the pillow behind my head.

"My…ring…"

I had forgotten about the ring I had given her during don juan. It was no longer on her finger… Before she could answer, Nadir came walking in with a steaming cup in hand. He walked over to my bed and lifted my head to able me to drink it.

"Drink up, Erik…"

I was so tired, that I didn't even care that the hot drink tasted like blueberries. All I wanted to do was sleep.

"Every drop…"

I drank until the drink was fully gone, Nadir placing my head back down on the pillow.

"That should help you sleep."

"Oh, Nadir, it's getting late…"

"Right…"

Nadir patted the covers before heading to the door. Christine placed on her cloak and approached my bed, leaning over me and pressing a kiss to my cheek… A kiss! Oh god, a kiss! Never had I ever experienced a kiss before in my entire life! Oh, what a wonderful feeling it was. What even brought tears to my eyes was when she reached inside of her blouse and pulled out a silver chain that was hanging around her neck, but that wasn't everything! It had a ring dangling in the center…but not just any ring, MY RING!

"Get some sleep."

And then she left….Nadir accompanied her out of my room and back home. Oh, my angel, my everything…. Perhaps there was some hope for me after all! And with that, I fell asleep…hoping to wake and see my angel here beside me once again!

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><p><strong>And here is chapter 2...Erik pulled through! Please review!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Erik's POV**

When I woke the next morning, every part of my body was screaming. I pressed my eyes closed, only to hear the door opening. When I opened my eyes again, Nadir was walking in carrying a tray of food.

"Ah, the patient is finally up…"

"I'd rather sleep, thank you." I groaned, closing my eyes again.

"I don't think you'll be wanting to sleep, friend." Nadir said, placing the tray down on the night table. "You should be reading the morning headline."

He slapped down a newspaper in front of me. I didn't have much strength, but I managed to pick it up and read the headline. _"Opera Populair Up for Auction to Highest Bidder."_

"Seems as though you've scared Andre and Firmin right out of business." Nadir chuckled.

I placed the paper back down and snuggled back beneath the blankets.

"Serves them right." I groaned. "They belong in an office, not the arts…"

"Right. I believe you know more about art than they'll ever know."

It was at that moment, that a plan came into mind. Yes, I was ill, but this was something so crazy that it would work!

"Nadir, when is the auction?"

"Tomorrow evening. Why? Thinking about attending are we?"

"As of matter of fact, I think I shall…"

"Erik, don't be silly. Your fever is making you think ridiculous thoughts. You'd be hanged before even raising a single bid."

"Perhaps, but what about you?"

"Me? Don't be silly. What am I supposed to do? Bid and run the opera house?"

I didn't say a word, for that was my exact plan. I needed a body, a handsome man who could run the opera house, but be under my command. I could run the Opera Populair, but I needed someone to carry out commands, and Nadir would do just that. For if I let the opera house be bought by anyone but Nadir, who knew what disaster would befall such a beautiful place. My Christine could lose her job, Madame Giry and the ballerinas sacked! No, I wouldn't allow such a thing. I would by the Opera house, and with my commands and foot behind the entire operation, Nadir would run it.

"You can't be serious, Erik…"

"But I am, Nadir! I am! The opera will die if I don't do something. You seen how terrible Andre and Firman ran it! If not for me pushing Christine forward and making her a star, no seats would have been filled."

"Wait…hold up, Erik… This is about Christine isn't it?" Nadir exclaimed. "You're worried about her future….worried that she'll get the boot!"

"Nadir, please… We could become very well off with this operation! It's money, man! I'd split any earning sixty-forty…"

"Sixty-forty? You cheap bast-"

"All right… Fifty-fifty… But that's my final offer!"

"Erik, I have no idea on how to run an opera house. I'm right up there with Andre and Firman."

"But it be different. Every command, every placement of props, would be done only by my word. You're just a body, Nadir. You know I can't come clean and run the opera house. I could do it, but only behind closed walls. You would be my double….only to make it look like you're running the opera house. Everything will be reported back to me and I will instruct you on what to do…"

Nadir stood in silence for a few moments before finally agreeing.

"You're mad, Erik, completely mad!"

"And you can't tell Christine about this, you hear me? She cannot know the truth about who's running the opera house."

"Get your rest…"

When Nadir left, I realized that I needed to go to the bathroom. Yes, I would have called him back, but it was rather embarrassing when I thought about him escorting me to the toilet. Instead, I sat up, placing my feet on the ground in order to stand. My legs were wobbly and I nearly stumbled as I walked towards the bathroom, but it was better than being babied. After relieving myself, I stumbled back to bed, placing my hand over my bandaged side, pressing against it in order to stop the throbbing. Yes, there was food set on the night table for me, but I didn't want anything to do with it. I hardly ate when I was well, and now that I was ill, I didn't dare touch it.

A few seconds later, the door opened and I turned, expecting to see Nadir standing there, but instead, Christine was walking in carrying a box filled with objects.

"How's the Phantom feeling this morning?"

I tried to smile, for having Christine visiting me was something I would never tire of.

"Could be better."

Christine placed the box down on the floor beside my bed and touched my hot forehead.

"Still feverish, but I can certainly tell a difference in your temperature."

"What's in the box?"

Christine smiled. "Oh, a few things from your lair. Unfortunately it was destroyed by the mob. I wanted to go down there and try to salvage what ever was left."

From out of the box, she pulled a few of my books, a folder of my musical scores, a cracked framed picture of my angel, and my monkey music box."

"Thank you, Christine."

"You're welcome, Erik. I also managed to salvage a few of your clothes, but I gave them to one of Raoul's maids to wash."

"Christine, if Raoul ever found out-"

"Oh, hush…" Christine ordered. "I told the maid that they belonged to my father and I wanted them washed. As soon as they're finished being cleaned, I'll bring them over."

"Raoul must be getting suspicious, Christine…"

"Erik, he's working and I told the maids that I was going out for a walk."

I closed my eyes, resting my head up against the pillow.

"Erik," Christine softly whispered. "Do you have a family member I could contact?"

I shook my head. "No…"

"Are you sure? I'll contact anyone of your choice. I'm sure your mother would want to know what happened to you."

"She and I haven't spoke in years, Christine." I mumbled. "Last time I saw her, I was on my deathbed. I had been wounded by the neighborhood children. She called me a worthless beast and wanted me to go away for good….Word was that she died a few years back…alone and in her bed."

"Oh, Erik…"

As Christine was running her fingers through my hair, I felt the blankets being pulled up over my shoulders.

"You've barely touched your breakfast."

"I'm not hungry…"

"Starving yourself will do you no good, Erik."

I didn't listen to her, only laid there with my eyes closed.

"The real reason I came over here was to check your stitches. The doctor said you need to keep it cleaned out to avoid infection. Would you mind if I had a look?"

"I don't care." was all I said, my body drifting off to sleep as each moment passed. From around the room, I heard her rummaging around, and then, the blankets being folded back around my knees. Her fingers worked at gently pulling back my bandages, the ahesive sticking to my flesh, a stinging sensation occurring each time she pulled the blasted wrappings away from my flesh.

"I'm freezing…" I moaned, attempting to reach down for the blankets that were folded at my knees.

"I know, Erik. I have to do this though…"

My angel had a basin settled in her lap, her hands moving swiftly in wetting a sponge and wringing it out before dabbing it against my stitches. Oh, how it stung! But I held in every ounce of pain, only wanting to sleep off my discomfort. When she was finished, she wrapped my wound in clean bandages, walking away for a few moments and coming back with a sack of some sort.

"What's in there?" I shivered.

Christine smiled. "Your nightclothes. I found them folded neatly in your wardrobe when I went for your trinkets. These were left untouched…Can't say much for the clothes I sent with the maids to clean. I figured you would want your trousers and robe to keep you warm."

Oh, what a relief. I was so cold, and if I had to wear another one of Nadir's undergarments or robes I would surely go insane! I wanted my own clothes, the ones I had bought and worn down in my lair. Christine pulled my sleep trousers out of the sack and slipped them cautiously up my waist. Afterwards, my angel took each of my arms and placed them into my robe, buttoning it up to insulate the warmth around my chest.

"Erik," Christine cooed my name, placing her hand against my cheek. "You don't look so well."

The truth was, that I didn't feel well either. I was not only exhausted, but also sick to the stomach. My Christine pulled the blankets back up over my body, and ran her fingers through my blonde strands of hair. From on the night table, she picked up my pocket watch, opening the contraption to have a look at the time.

"I can stay an hour more if you'd like, Erik." she closed it and placed it back down beside my mask. "Would you like that?"

"If you wish…"

"I wish there was something I could do in order to take away your pain."

"I've grown tired." I murmured. "Extremely…"

"I have a performance tonight." she paused. "My last…"

"Don't say that."

"But it's true. The opera is up for auction. None of us are sure who will be taking it over…anyone could, Erik. The fate of all our jobs are in the hands of whom ever buys the building."

"Don't you stop singing, ange…" I mewed. "Just keep singing. I promise you that you will never be without work. Paris needs Christine Daae…"

She interlaced her fingers with my own. "…Paris needs Erik."

"You'll sing beautifully tonight, Christine."

"But what about you, maestro? You've never missed any of my performances."

"Pretend I'm there, Christine. Sadly enough, I'm afraid I must sit this one out, and not by choice."

"But what if I'm not good enough? What if I miss a verse, or-"

"Don't doubt your talents, Christine." I interrupted. "You've been practicing with me for weeks. You'll do just fine."

I was exhausted now. I closed my eyes, snuggling into the warmth of my pillow…

"I could sing it for you now." Christine suggested. "It might help you sleep."

I agreed, and my angel did just that, her voice putting me straight into a wonderful slumber. When I awoke, it was dark outside, and my room empty….. My side was still throbbing with a burning pain, making laying down any longer extremely uncomfortable. Deciding to get up, I stood to my feet, using the walls to sustain balance within my body. My back and shoulders were so achy that all I wanted to do was sink myself into a hot bath. When I made it to the bathroom, I started the hot water in the tub, stripping off my clothes while the tub was filling up. Yes, it took every ounce of strength I had to get me into that tub, but when I did, I felt as though I were in heaven.

Unbearable, hot water soothed my aches as I slipped my shoulders down beneath the suds. I closed my eyes, letting the liquid soak into every inch of my flesh. There weren't many times when I would relax in my bath tub, but this was an exception. Usually, I soaked in icy water, hurrying to clean myself before I caught phenomena. Monsters didn't deserve hot water, and therefore, I never used it. But tonight, it was needed…

"Erik…"

I heard my name being called by Nadir a short time later, footsteps getting closer and closer to the bathroom. The door suddenly opened and I was met with the Persian, who was dressed in his finest attire. Had he gone out?

"Ah, there you are." he closed the door behind him. "You missed a great performance by Christine tonight. She certainly had Paris on its knees….You don't look well, Erik…"

"I'm tired is all."

"How about some tea? I can make it the way you like it….it usually puts you right to sleep…"

My friend helped me out of the tub and to the bedroom where he handed me my clothes. Of course, he bandaged my wound for me, and helped me back into bed.

"Christine was wonderful tonight?" I asked.

"As usual." Nadir covered me up. "I tried to have a word with her after the performance, but alas, her young lover whisked her off to dinner before I even had a chance."

I gritted my teeth just thinking about the two of them eloping around Paris like two love stricken gypsies. Yes, she might have agreed to marry him, but in someway, I believed she had feelings for me as well….. What those feelings were, I had yet to know, but why else would she be coming to visit me behind the fop's back day after day?

"I'll get that tea for you now. Afterwards, I'm going to bed myself. I have a big day tomorrow…"

"Yes." I agreed. "The auction."

"Well, perhaps if you're feeling a little better tomorrow, you would be feeling up to having a little bit of company. Christine has mentioned something about returning tomorrow afternoon with your clothes…."

"Yes, thank god…" I groaned. "If I had to wear another pair of your undergarments-"

"Oh, don't be ungrateful Erik, it's not becoming of you. You're lucky I let you borrow a pair or two. What else would you be wearing….Share and share alike, I always say…"

"Yes, well, friend, as much as I'm grateful for your hospitality, I don't feel comfortable wearing another man's clothes."

"Right. You'd rather have Christine handle your unmentionables…"

"Nadir," I rubbed my aching temple. "I'm hardly in the mood for your humor."

"When are you ever, Erik. Anyway, I'll get you your tea and then off to bed…"

When Nadir left, I reached over and wound up my monkey music box, closing my eyes and listening to the soothing tune of masquerade.

"Erik, you haven't eaten anything in days." Nadir said, returning with my drink.

"I'm not hungry."

"Whether you're hungry or not, man, you must eat something in order to keep your medicine down. Now I've made you some fresh toast. I want you to eat every morsel or else I can't give you another dose of your medicine."

Nadir placed the plate of toast down on the night table along with my tea.

"Get some rest, Erik, and drink up before your tea goes cold."

When Nadir left the room, I reached over for my tea, taking a sip of it, only to have the hot liquid burn my mouth. My reflexes worked faster than my brain, and I wound up spilling the hot substance in my lap. I screamed as the liquid burnt my legs, my once clean sheets now stained in the brown liquid. I placed my face into my hands, hot tears staining them…. Oh, how embarrassing this was! When the door opened again, I shouted before I even looked up, cursing Nadir to go away and leave me alone.

"Get out! Get out and leave me alone!"

"Erik?"

When I heard Christine's voice, I wiped away my tears to see her entering the room with a handful of stuff. She placed everything down on the nearby sofa and came rushing to me, taking my chin into her hand and gasping at my bleeding, malformed lip.

"Erik, what happened to you?"

I didn't answer her, but she must have come to her own assumption upon seeing the empty mug laying beside me and the stained sheets.

"My poor Erik…" Christine helped me out of bed, changing the sheets quickly and rummaging through the clean clothes she brought with her; my clean clothes!

"Raoul took me to dinner and then he went out with a few friends. I stopped by the estate to find your clothes neatly folded on my bed. I also knew that you weren't eating and wanted to bring something over."

She helped me back into bed after I was changed into some clean clothes. My angel then worked at hanging the remaining clothes she brought along in the wardrobe that was across the room.

"You burnt your mouth on some tea…" Christine stated. "And you've barely touched your toast."

"I'm not hungry…" I growled. "Nor am I in the mood for visitors!"

Yes, I was irritable, but that was no excuse for treating Christine like I had. I should be thankful that she even helped me….she saved my life!

"I won't stay long, Erik." she promised. "I just needed to come by and check on you."

She opened the pot she brought along, dipping a spoon into it and scraping the contents on the inside.

"We had some left over ice cream at the house. I thought it be something easier for you to eat."

With my fever, eating the sweet substance made my body feel wonderful. I didn't have to chew, nor did it take a lot out of me in order to eat it.

"Better?"

"Yes…" I said. "How was your performance?"

"Good, but I was at a loss without my angel being there…"

Yes, I was ill, but oh, to hear my Christine's voice! To hear her sadness because I wasn't at her performance…Oh, how she made me feel wanted! And after eating my angel's ice cream, I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep. My angel stayed by my side until I fell asleep, her hand interlaced with my own, rubbing my fingertips and lightly squeezing my palm. Heaven….Oh, sweet heaven! I could only hope that my angel would stay with me forever more. I loved her with all that I was…all that I was and everything I am! Christine was what made my life worth living…

* * *

><p><strong>Please review everyone. Not many readers yet, but I'll give it time. Also, I have been sooo busy with Christmas shopping and what not, so until after the holidays I don't think there will be many updates. I'll try for at least one a week, but no promises. Lots of cookies to bake and so little time!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Erik's POV**

The following morning, I awoke to something rubbing my feet. I laid there with my eyes closed, feeling this wonderful sensation continuing. When I opened my eyes, I saw Christine sitting at the end of my bed, massaging my feet with her hands. Christine! Oh, my angel! She was massaging my feet…_My_ feet!

"Christine?" I groggily called out her name, causing her to look up at me.

"Good morning, Erik."

"Why are you here so early?"

"Nadir has gone off somewhere. He asked if I wouldn't mind stopping by for a few hours. Raoul is at work, and therefore I was available."

I knew where Nadir had gone off to. I knew he was at the opera auction. When the sun came into my room, Christine rose from her seat, walking over to the drapes and opened the shutters to let in the cool air.

"It's such a beautiful day outside, Erik. I was thinking we could try taking a walk. You've been in that bed for far too long."

Perhaps I had, but it was because I wasn't feeling well. Just walking to the bathroom tired me out on a daily basis. Christine placed her hand against my head, smiling when she realized that my fever had finally passed.

"I brought over some goods from the bakery. I was thinking we could take our breakfast outside this morning. The back porch has a lovely little set up…"

When I agreed, Christine helped me into my robe so I wouldn't catch a chill. Afterwards, she helped me to my feet, discomfort already filling my body as I took my first step. I cringed in agony, Christine keeping a firm grasp on my body as she helped me down the stairs and towards the backdoor. I wasn't sure how much longer I could bear standing, but just as my knees began to weaken, she slipped me into the patio chair.

"Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to move you out of bed, Erik…"

But I held up my hand in protest.

"I made us a fresh batch of tea." Christine poured the steaming liquid into a cup that was on my side of the table, placing a lemon pastry down on a nearby plate.

"You're looking rather pale, angel…" she said, sliding the plate closer to me. "I thought the outside would do your ill health some good."

The sunlight did feel wonderful against my flesh, but the chair I was sitting in was anything but comfortable. Sitting up wasn't the easiest thing in the world considering that my healing wound was right near my pelvic bone. No, laying down was much more comfortable for me. My Christine sat beside me, eating her breakfast as I picked apart my pastry, not really too interested in eating.

"Is there something wrong with your breakfast, Erik?"

"No, Christine." I murmured. "I'm just not that hungry."

"Erik, you must eat in order to take your medicine."

Everything was spinning, my head, my throbbing wound, even Christine's conversation. My hand was shaking now, making it tough for me to hold my teacup.

"I can't sit up…" I barked. "It's hurting me…"

Christine stood up from her seat, rushing to my own side to assist me.

"Oh, forgive me, Erik." she pleaded. "I was only thinking that the air would do you some good. I never thought about the difficulties of sitting up."

Once I stood, I felt ten times better. Instead of taking me straight back to my room, Christine laid me down on the sofa in Nadir's living room. Yes, it wasn't as comfortable as my bed, but at least I could feel the sunlight on my skin.

"I can't stay long today, Erik." Christine said, standing over me with my cup of tea. "Raoul is having some friends over for dinner tonight. I must play hostess…" She looked down at her feet. "He's asked me to move in with him."

"And have you agreed?" I asked, anxious to hear her answer.

Christine paused, her head facing her feet. "No…"

"And why not?"

"I'm only staying with him temporarily because the opera house was up for auction. Yes, I will stay with him until we are married if I lose my job. Though, I'm hoping I can still sing at the opera and keep my dressing room. I rather enjoy living with the ballerinas."

"I wouldn't worry about your job, Christine." I said. "Anyone who buys the Opera would be crazy to throw away the best thing that could ever land in their lap."

My angel blushed. "Thank you, maestro."

"I speak nothing but the truth."

"You know, sometimes I miss the old days of living by the sea. Things were much simpler then… Raoul throws these elaborate parties once a week, filled with people I hardly know. Yes, I love him, but I'm just not sure that it's a life I wish to live until I die."

My heart skipped a beat. Could it be true that I still had a chance with my angel?

"Up until this year, things were always much simpler. I rather liked it that way…wouldn't you agree?"

"If you say so, Christine."

"I know so…" she giggled.

"You know, Christine, something has been boggling my mind."

"Oh? And what's that angel?"

"Why did you save me? Why? Why me, Christine? You knew the danger of keeping me safe…of helping me escape the mob."

"Yes, Erik, I know the horrible things you've done in the past…" she paused. "But in my heart, I don't believe someone who holds every ounce of love in their heart for me could be all so terrible…Besides, you're like family to me. You were there right after my father passed to pick me up and get me back on track of living life. You taught me to sing, taught me everything there is to know about music… How could I send you to the dogs, Erik? Even now, you're still acting like the Erik I know and love.

"And what Erik is that?" I curiously asked.

"My most trusted friend, that's the Erik I know…"

Christine has been coming here day after day to visit me. It was like her ritual of some sort… But what about the dangers? What about her boy, and if he ever caught her? Oh, my Christine would hang….I cared about her safety more than I cared about my own. She meant everything to me, which was why I couldn't continue letting her be here. Eventually, someone from Raoul's estate was going to notice that she was leaving everyday. What if they told Raoul? What if someone followed her? No, this had to stop!

"You shouldn't be coming here day after day, Christine." I firmly warned. "It's not safe."

"Don't be silly, Erik. I want to make sure you're doing all right."

"Christine, please listen to me when I-"

"I'll be here to check up on you everyday…"

She was leaning over me now, attempting to fluff up my pillow, and that's when I did the unthinkable. I grabbed her violently by her wrists, shoving her away from me with all the force I could muster.

"I don't want you coming around here! Listen to me when I'm telling you something. That's an order!"

Christine rubbed her sore wrists, tears welling up into her eyes. She knew my anger all too well, which was why I had to do what I did next…I had to get nasty with her.

"Don't be stupid, Christine! You have a lover and that's where you should be! Not here! Now get the hell out of here, you little demon!"

Christine worked quickly at gathering her things, rushing out of the house on unsteady legs. I hated myself for calling her such horrible names, but I needed to make sure that she never came back. Her safety was at stake and god help her if anyone ever found out why she was coming here everyday. When she left, I began to miss her already, wanting nothing more than to stab myself for ever letting such cruel words be shouted out.

I laid there, closing my eyes and trying to sleep, Nadir coming in a little while after.

"Where's Christine?" were the first words out of his mouth.

I opened my tired eyes. "She won't be coming back."

"Man, what have you done?"

"She's gone!" I barked. "That's all you need to know! It's not healthy for her to be coming over here day after day when she has a man at home. Her safety was at stake, and therefore, I did something about it."

"You hurt her feelings, didn't you?"

"I needed to be sure she never came back."

"How could you do this to her, Erik?" Nadir marched right over to my bed and pulled the blankets away from my body. "You're an evil man! You deserve to be alone for the rest of your days! Here we have people who are trying to be your friend, trying to get you better, and what do you do? Send them away as if they meant nothing more to you than garbage!"

"It was for her own good!"

"You are an ass!"

"Enough about Christine!" I growled, pulling the blankets back over my body. "How did the auction go?"

From out of Nadir's jacket, he pulled a file and threw it down into my lap.

"How do you think it went? Of course I won. By tomorrow morning it shall be in my name. Though, I wouldn't worry about that, you have bigger fish to fry…that being your attempt to gain back Christine's trust."

That evening around midnight, when Nadir was asleep, I rose from my bed. I couldn't bear to stay here anymore. Nadir had won over the opera house and now, I could move back to my lair without worrying about the mob. I threw all my trinkets into a sack, dressing and tiptoeing out of the house. Yes, my body still bothered me, but anything was better than having to stay at Nadir's another moment. I crept back into the opera house, heading down the corridors and secret passage ways until I reached the remains of my broken gondola. It was in a million pieces…

"Just great…" I mumbled, tossing a broken plank aside. Yes, the water was only waist deep, but I would have to tread across the chilled water. In the morning, I would repair my boat in order to get to and from my lair. Yes, there were other ways of getting there, but my body wouldn't be able to stand that long. My body shivered as I made my way across the icy lake, my legs nearly numb by the time I made it to my front door. Inside was like a disaster area, furniture turned over and broke, my linens thrown everywhere, my library turned upside down, piles of books thrown everywhere! This would not be an easy cleanup, but with time, I would be able to have it back to feeling like home again. I made my way to my bedroom, locking myself inside and opening my sack to pull out a pair of dried clothes. Thankfully, my bedroom had not been touched, my coffin still in pristine condition. To warm my chilled body, I threw some of the wood from my broken furniture into my fireplace, the flames instantly warming the quarters of my bedroom.

Getting to my lair took every ounce of energy I had, which was why I crawled into my coffin and closed my eyes. Yes, it wasn't as comfortable as Nadir's bed, but it was home. Tomorrow I would start my clean up, and then, arrangements for the opera house.

Though, the following morning, when I woke, I realized that everything was anything but all right. My wound was throbbing again, making it obvious that a trek across the freezing waters of my lake had not been the smartest thing to take part in. After pulling away my bandages, I realized that it was not only oozing with some sort of sticky substance, but it was also burning hot. Deciding to rewrap it in fresh bandages, I did just that and stood to my feet, walking my way into my destroyed kitchen in order to scrounge around for a teabag or two. Tea would help clear my mind of things and perhaps give me some energy to clean up…Though, the ache in my injury wasn't making things any easier. Infected or not, I had a plan, and I wouldn't put it aside just to lay around in pain. My lair needed cleaning and I would do just that! My cabinets were nearly empty, but I did manage to find the teabags I had been searching for. I placed my kettle over the fire, beginning my clean up while my water was boiling. I mostly threw everything out, deciding to start over from scratch. Yes, I was feeling woozy in the head, but my lair was going to be cleaned come hell or high water! I mopped the floor, threw out useless, broken furniture, even repaired a few of my armchairs. By the time I was finished cleaning my home, I took my tea into my music room and plopped down into my throne like chair. My library still needed to be straightened up, but I was hardly in the mood to place fifteen hundred books back in order and on the shelves. I would tackle that another day.

I sipped on my tea, rubbing my aching side as I flipped open the file that Nadir had given me. It was filled with documents that listed every employee, documents that listed every object that I now owned. There was so much I wanted to do with the opera house, and I would have Nadir start right away. Tomorrow, I would have him hold a meeting to introduce himself. Then, afterwards he would hand out scores to the opera that I wished for him to start everyone on. It would be a lovely opera, one filled with many arias that my star, Christine would sing. Yes, everything would be absolutely perfect.

"Erik?"

I heard my name being called, only to look over and see Nadir standing in the doorway to my office. Blasted! How had he gotten here? He was dressed to impress once more, his arms folded across his chest like a displeased father.

"Is there something I can help you with, Nadir?" I spat. "It's not polite to just barge into someone's home without knocking…"

"Erik, what in God's name are you doing? You could have killed yourself coming all this way…"

"This is home, Nadir."

"Perhaps, but your doctor ordered strict bed rest… And what do you do? Sneak out and come all the way down here."

"Like I said before, Nadir, this is home to me."

"Oh? A damp, cold lair? Erik, it cannot be a bit helpful to your heath. You should have stayed with me for a few more days."

"I'm perfectly well, thank you…. Just how did you get down here anyway? If you haven't noticed, my gondola is in a thousand pieces across the lake."

"I took the passage ways." he approached me, placing his warm hand against my forehead. "You're feverish again, man!"

I pushed him away from me. "Leave me be, Nadir! I feel perfectly well, thank you."

"Erik, you're not only feverish, but you're sweating as well."

"Yes, because I was cleaning up my lair. Didn't you take notice to how neat it looks…"

"Erik, you're not sweating like a regular human being. Oh, look at you….You've gone pale again."

"Leave me alone! I can take care of myself, thank you!"

"If you say so, Erik…"

"I want you to give a welcoming speech tomorrow afternoon, Nadir." I said. "Gather everyone up and introduce yourself to them."

"And then what?"

"Here…" from out of my desk, I pulled a few musical scores, handing them to Nadir. "This will be the first opera we are to perform. Tell them to get practicing."

"And just how am I supposed to know if it's to your perfection, Erik?"

"Don't worry about that." I waved my hand in the air. "I'll be watching their rehearsals in secret."

"And what will you do then? Drop sets on the actors you despise?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, you fool… I'll tell you what to do. As far as the star of the show goes, I want you to make sure Christine is notified on her role…. Make it known that she is still the Opera Populair's diva…."

"I don't think Christine shall be singing."

"And what makes you say that?" I asked, scribbling away some notes. "She told me that she rather enjoys living with the ballerinas. She will surely be jumping for joy."

"And can you be so sure about that, Erik?" Nadir teased. "Because as of early this morning, Madame Giry told me that Christine did not show up at the dancer's routine exercises. In fact, Madame said that Meg found her crying in the chapel last night…sobbing, actually."

I paused with my pen, hating myself for bringing Christine such grief. I had only wanted to protect her, and yet, I had been the cause of her sadness.

"Try convincing an upset girl to sing the main part in an opera, Erik. I don't think it's going to work out so well. But you're the expert on these sort of situations, so it shouldn't be a problem."

"You're a royal pain in the ass sometimes, Nadir." I growled.

Nadir chuckled. "Perhaps it's the other way around. But anyway, I will leave your stubborn ass to your work. I'll throw that little welcome meeting first thing tomorrow morning."

Nadir patted me on the back. "Get some rest, old man…"

Yes, it was late afternoon, and I knew I should have been thinking about going to bed, but I couldn't… I needed to make amends with Christine. I knew where to find her, and therefore, I rose, threw on my cloak and departed my lair on aching legs and a burning side. I would bite back my agony, if only to make things right between my angel and I.

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><p><strong>Please review! More to come soon!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Erik's POV**

I found Christine in the cemetery, kneeling at her father's tomb. Yes, the journey had not been an easy one, and yes, my body was cold and achy, but I needed to make things right between her and I. I slowly approached her from behind, standing there with my arms folded behind my back.

"Christine?"

My angel didn't turn around, nor did she even pay any mind to me. Yes, I couldn't blame her, for I knew she was upset.

"Christine, please turn around and look at me."

"For what reason, Erik?" she growled. "If I recall, it was you who never wanted to see me again."

"Christine, I was thinking about your safety. Please, ange…I didn't mean to call you those things. You know I didn't."

"Perhaps." she replied, standing to her feet. "But even so, there's no changing how hurt you made me feel."

"Christine, I wanted you to be safe. Just promise me that you won't come seek me out ever again. I'll find you if you wish for our friendship to continue. I was only caring about you…."

My Christine didn't even look at me as she tore off the necklace she had around her neck and threw the contents into the snow- (Those contents being the chain and my ring I had given her.)

"Just stay away from me, Erik!"

As she began to storm off towards the gates of the cemetery, I walked towards the ring and picked it up into my grasp, my side beginning to throb again with a searing pain. I collapsed into the snow, helpless and weak against everything. I couldn't move, nor could I do anything but grasp my side. The snow burned into my flesh, making me shiver even harder.

"Christine…." I called out her name, but she was nowhere to be found. Oh, why? Why had I gotten out of bed? Why had I traveled all the way to the cemetery in my condition? When the pain began to subside, I pushed my body upward, not being able to stand up.

"Help…"My voice was barely a whisper as I laid back down, closing my eyes to relax my aching body.

"Erik?"

Christine was coming back now, running when she noticed me laying in the snow. Her arm swooped beneath my armpit, pulling me to my feet.

"You're bleeding…."

My eyes moved down towards my wound to notice that there was a rather large, red stain on my shirt.

"Come on, let's get you home…."

"I'm not at Nadir's." I protested. "I'm not there anymore."

Her eyes seemed concerned now. "And where on earth are you staying then?"

"At the opera house."

She opened her mouth to say something, but I stopped her.

"Please…." I cringed. "It's a long story."

My angel didn't say another word, only continued moving me towards the opera house. I could only thank god that I had a cloak draped over my face to shield me from the people walking the streets. We took the corridor path to avoid crossing my chilled lake, arriving right at my door as I fumbled through my pocket to find my key.

"Erik, it's so cold down here." Christine replied. "How could you even think about leaving Nadir's home?"

"This is home to me, Christine."

I managed to unlock the door, nearly tumbling to the floor when it opened. There used to be a sofa in the family room, but because of the damage that was caused at the mob's hands, I had to make do with using it as kindle for my fireplace.

"Erik, we need to lay you down…."

The only place my angel would be able to lay me down, was my bedroom; a place I forbid her to ever enter. In the past, when she would spend nights with me, I had told her that everything in my lair was hers….all except my bedchamber. I kept it locked at all times, just incase her curiosity attempted to get the best of her. The thought of Christine seeing my room made me uneasy, but it was something I couldn't avoid. After unlocking my bedroom door, Christine helped me inside, nearly gasping when she noticed the open coffin I had in the middle of the room.

"In there…" I cringed. "It's my bed…"

My angel placed me down in the casket, fluffing the pillows up that were supporting my head. She rushed over to the fireplace and began to build a fire to warm my chilled room.

"You need a doctor, Erik…"

"No doctors…" I groaned. "I'll be all right once I rest."

"Your stitches might have torn."

"What in the name of Allah is going on here?"

Both Christine and I turned to spot Nadir walking in. Great, now it was a party.

"Monsieur Khan…." Christine backed away, as Nadir approached my coffin.

"You know, Erik you are the most stubborn man I have ever met. Look at you…"

He pulled up my bloody shirt to spot my bleeding wound.

"Christine, go into the other room and find his bottle of brandy."

When Christine was gone, Nadir shook his head at me.

"Man, you are really trying to put yourself one foot in the grave. You're lucky your stitches didn't tear. After I wrap you up again, you better not move out of this coffin until you're fully healed. And what's this?"

Nadir brushed a few fresh snowflakes off of my shoulder.

"Out in the cold? Are you crazy!"

"I had to make things right between Christine and I…."

"And killing yourself in the process is worth your foolishness?"

Hours after Nadir bandaged me up, I was left laying there in my coffin, staring into the flames of my chamber's fire. The heat made my eyes heavy, causing me to relax against my pillows, slowly drifting off to sleep. This was home to me….. I loved my quiet lair, for it was all I have ever known.

"Erik?"

I opened my eyes, to see Christine standing in my doorway. Why was she still here?

"Yes, Christine?"

"Are you going to be all right if I leave?"

I nodded. This was what I wanted…. She wasn't safe being down here with me. What if someone saw her?

"Yes. I'm going to rest."

"I'll be spending the night in my dressing room if you need me. I'll check on you first thing in the morning."

"Christine-No…."

"Are you sure?"

"Certain. You don't need to bring unwanted attention upon yourself. For both our sakes…."

She smiled. "Goodnight then, Erik…"

The following morning, I woke warm and comfortable in my bed. The fire was still fresh and roaring like the wood hadn't ever burned. I shifted within my coffin, snuggling my head deeper into my pillows. Nadir must have came and checked on me before heading up to his meeting. I gasped…..The meeting! I quickly reached over on my night table for my pocket watch, noticing that it was eight in the morning. I still had an hour before Nadir would start, and this was one meeting I didn't plan on missing. I wanted to see the reaction on their faces upon Nadir introducing himself. Plus, I wanted to be there to make sure he did a splendid job. I rose to my feet, walking to my bathroom in order to relieve the urine from my body. Afterwards, I dressed and headed towards my kitchen to get something to eat….but wait…something was different about my lair. There were no longer things thrown on the floor, my library was cleaned, even my kitchen was back in pristine condition!

I opened my cabinet doors, noticing that it was stocked with new groceries. Had I been dreaming the entire time? Had I not been shot? But, alas, I pulled up my shirt to notice a bandage still wrapped tightly around my side. And then, there was the note I found sitting on the counter beside a loaf of bread.

"_Maestro, _

_I hope you don't mind, for I cleaned your lair up while you slept. I wanted to do something nice for you, after all the things you've done for me. You inspired my voice, and therefore, I found it necessary to help out. In the cabinets you will find a few jars of peaches and strawberry jam. I know you can't stomach to eat much with your injury, but I thought toast and jam would be something easier to stomach. _

_Enjoy,_

_Christine."_

I smiled, knowing exactly what I would do to thank her. Deciding to eat later, I donned my mask and wig, heading down my secret passage way in order to arrive on time to Nadir's meeting. I walked swiftly above the stage, creeping like a rat across the rafters to above where the crowds of opera house employees were standing. Everyone was there, everyone including my angel. I stayed hidden, shadowed by darkness, even as Nadir arrived.

"Greetings everyone." Nadir began. "Some of you already know me, but for those who don't, let me introduce myself. I am Nadir Khan, the new owner of the Opera Populaire. I was a patron for years, and when I heard about the possibility of there being no opera house, I quickly invested."

There was chatter among the crowd, as Nadir tried to continue. People….they just wouldn't listen to this man! Did he look like a pushover? Well, I wasn't about to let them see him as one. My hand was already on the ropes that were tied to the stage's backdrop, but I stopped myself…. No, I couldn't do that. The opera ghost was dead…. I could no longer be that man. Instead, I let the voice within my head scream for Nadir to demand silence. And just like that, an angel answered me, but not an angel….more like the devil, really….

"What append to our old managers?"

Oh that voice! That annoying voice from hell! How I wanted to fire her! How I wanted to can Carlotta and rid her of my opera house! She was like a pest! One that would never willingly leave….

"Mademoiselle, please…" Nadir pleaded.

"That's Madame! I was arried to my sweet Piange until that bastard strangled eim…"

"Madame, I can assure you that-"

"And what about our jobs?" came another voice. "What will become of zhem?"

"Please! Everyone, just let me explain."

Finally, the room silenced, and Nadir pulled out the score I had given him.

"We will be starting a new production. Madame Giry will lead the ballerinas in rehearsal, and I assure you all that business shall go on as usual."

"And just who is zee star of zee new role?" Carlotta snapped.

Madame Giry came forward and grabbed the manuscript out of Nadir's hands. It only took her a few moments to skim through it and find such an answer.

"Christine Daae will be playing the lead role."

"Christine Daae!" Carlotta barked. "Zhat was before zee Phantom! Why now?"

Once more, there was an uproar, but thankfully, Nadir quickly intervened.

"As I have said before, I have been a patron here for years. I chose Christine to be our lead diva because I enjoy her singing. She has one of the most astounding voices I have ever heard. Carlotta will be the understudy…."

Satisfied with what I heard, I made my way towards Christine's dressing room, swiping a red rose from one of the bouquets that were laying around. I worked as I continued to my destination, dismembering the thorns from the rose's stem and completing it with tying a black ribbon around it. I was in Christine's dressing room now, running my hand along her vanity, remembering every memory I had with my angel. I was placing the rose down, when I heard my a familiar voice.

"Did you really think I wasn't going to know the truth about the opera house?"

I turned around to see Madame Giry standing there. I made no sudden movements, afraid that a fiery fate would be approaching. Yes, Madame Giry had been my most trusted messenger over the years, but I was supposed to be dead, and who was to say that she wouldn't tell anyone about my survival.

"Come now, Erik." she continued. "I've known you long enough to be able to recognize your music and childish handwriting. It took a matter of seconds to figure out who wrote that manuscript Nadir brought along with him."

"And hello to you too, Madame."

Madame Giry chuckled. "Who would have thought that I'd see the day when the former Phantom decideds to take over the opera house and have his best friend stand in for him."

"Enough, Madame." I scoffed.

"Really, Erik, do you think I was born yesterday?"

"You'll keep your mouth shut?"

"Do you really think that I would rat you out?"

If there was anytime I wanted to sigh in relief, it was now.

"Welcome back, monsieur."

When Madame Giry left, I opened Christine's mirror and snuck inside. A few moments later, Christine came walking in, instantly noticing the rose. She picked it up and smiled, lightly touching its petals.

"Christine?"

When Raoul's voice called out to her, she quickly hid the rose and turned around to see him entering the room. Oh, that fop! Never knocking! It was so rude to enter a lady's dressing room without knocking first. It was inhuman and impolite.

"Yes, Raoul?"

"Are you coming to lunch with me?"

She nodded. "Of course, just give me a few minutes to get ready."

The fop kissed her on the cheek and left, shutting the door behind him. When Christine was alone again, I slid open the mirror and showed myself.

"Christine?"

Christine gasped, but smiled when she saw me.

"Erik, you shouldn't be out of bed."

"I will return shortly."

Christine pressed the rose to her nose, lightly smiling again.

"Thank you, Erik. Though, for safety reasons, I'm afraid I cannot display it in my dressing room or anywhere else."

She handed me the item, my fingers brushing against the petals.

"I see. I shall put it in water then…in my lair."

"Sounds wonderful."

"Christine, you didn't have to do what you did."

"Erik, please, don't thank me. It's the least I could have done."

"I want to make it up to you, Christine." I said. "I want to start teaching you again."

"I'd like that, Erik…"

"All right. We can start again when ever you wish. If you'd like, I'll go over your new role with you."

Christine nodded. "I'd like that very much, Erik."

And with that, Christine hugged me and headed towards her door.

"Erik?"

"Yes, Christine?"

"Is Nadir really running the opera house?"

I smiled. "Yes, Christine."

And with that, she left.

Later that day, I was sitting at my desk, looking over the documents from the opera house when I heard my alarm going off. I looked up from my cup of tea, seeing Nadir coming down the hall dressed in his best attire.

"You're just as bad as that fop." I called out. "No manners when it comes to knocking before entering someone's domain."

"Oh, come now, friend, you're not serious now are we?"

"Perhaps a bit."

Nadir entered my office, shaking his head as he saw me sitting there.

"You're really crossed with me are you?"

"A little, yes…"

"Oh, Erik…If it makes you feel any better, I'll knock next time."

"Thank you."

"So, I know you were there today. How was I?"

"And just how do you know I was at your meeting?"

"Oh, come now, Erik. I can read you like a book…"

"In that case, Persian, you did come off as the perfect manager…"

"But-" Nadir teased. "With you I know there is always a _but_…"

"Indeed. You need to have more control over your employees."

"Oh, come now, Erik…"

"No, Nadir….You need to have control!"

"And I do…"

"No, not enough….You need to be strict, firm…. Especially with that witch Carlotta. She is going to be your biggest problem."

"Lovely, Erik…I think I will fire her tomorrow morning then."

I turned to him, slamming my hand down on the desk.

"You will fire no one unless it's under my command."

"So you don't wish for me to fire her?"

"No…."

"But, Erik…"

"Believe it or not, we need Carlotta. She may be a horrible diva, but we need back up singers. And unfortunately she is just that…"

"I don't understand you sometimes."

"What else is new."

Nadir chuckled, patting me on the back. "How are you feeling?"

"Wonderful, no thanks to you."

"Oh, cheer up, Erik."

"I was quite all right without your visit."

"I was actually hoping to have dinner with you to discuss some things."

"I don't eat, as you know…"

"Ah, but I'll cook us your favorite meal…"

I rolled my eyes. "And just how do you know what my favorite meal is?"

"No clue, but what ever I cook us, I assure you it will become your favorite meal."

"Do your worst, if you must, man…"

I would rather be having dinner with Christine, but dinner with Nadir was going to have to do….Oh, what a wonderful night this would surely be.****

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><p><strong>Hey everyone, please review, and I also started reposting chapters to Phantom Royale. Happy reading.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Erik's POV**

I wasn't interested in eating dinner with Nadir. But, the man insisted on doing just that. He cooked a fine, Persian meal, some sort of chicken….or was it fish? I wasn't entirely sure, mostly because I didn't have an appetite. To put my mind at ease, I poured myself a glass of red wine, sitting there at my table, swiveling it around as I continued to read over notes from the opera house. Nothing all entirely too interesting, just directions of different passages ways and things I already knew about. I just thought it was interesting seeing such information jotted down on paper.

"Erik, I was thinking about holding a Valentine's ball. It would be something fun. A fun way to start out my new ownership."

I wasn't even paying attention to Nadir, for I hadn't the interest to hold such a ridiculous event. A ball? On Valentine's day? Nonsense. Just another sorry excuse for my angel to frolic around with her fop.

"Erik? Your opinion please…"

"I haven't an opinion." I snapped. "Instead of trying to plan a ball, why don't you put your skills to good use and come up with an opening night for your first performance."

"Erik, don't be so cold hearted."

I slammed my hands down on the table, causing the silverware to clatter.

"Really, Nadir, why would I want to hold a Valentine's day ball? I hate them with a passion."

"Only because you haven't ever been to one. You should go, Erik…"

"We are not having a ball, and that is final! Erik hates them!"

"Erik-"

"Drop it! I'm warning you, Persian!"

There was an awkward silence, and then Nadir's voice again.

"Really, Erik, you should loosen up once in a while. There's no wonder why you don't have yourself a woman."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Nadir scooped the empty plate out from under my nose.

"You're too strict, too up tight. You don't know how to loosen up when a woman is speaking to you. Christ, man, you can't even laugh. It wouldn't hurt to try it sometime."

"I'm hardly in the mood for such humor."

"You might want to try it. Who knows, it might actually make a woman want to roll in the sheets with you…"

Once more, I slammed my hands down on the table. Oh, how he enjoyed teasing me where it hurt!

"I'd prefer that you left me alone, Persian! Instead of wasting your breath with me, you might want to put your skills to good use and figure out an opening night!"

Nadir grabbed his jacket, throwing it over his shoulders and shaking his head.

"You should really get some sleep, man. You're awfully cranky. Goodnight…"

"I'll expect that date first thing in the morning." I barked.

When Nadir left, it was like a breath of fresh air. I sat there for an hour more, my eyes growing heavy with every word I read. When I was just about to nod off, I heard a knock at my door, causing me to jolt awake. I rubbed my achy neck, rising to my feet and checking the time on my Grandfather clock that was in the hall. Midnight…It was midnight. What was anyone doing out at such a late hour? When I arrived at my front door, I opened it to find Christine standing there in her night attire, a white robe tied tightly around her slim body.

"You're still awake." she said, smiling widely at me.

"Unfortunately, yes. Why are you out at such an hour?"

From outside, I felt the deathly chill of the catacombs.

"You better come inside before you catch your death."

Christine entered, and I closed the door behind her, sealing the warmth from escaping my lair.

"I couldn't sleep." she began. "I was hoping I could stay in my bedroom tonight. I always do sleep better when I'm here."

"Of course, Christine." I said. "My home is your home."

"Thank you."

I quickly turned out the lights in my kitchen, walking beside Christine as we descended down the hall to our rooms.

"So, how was lunch with sir fop-a lot?"

Christine giggled. "All right, I guess."

"What do you mean, _you guess_?"

"Oh, you know me, Erik. I'm very old fashioned. Raoul is elaborate when it comes to going places to eat. I'll take a small café any day."

"On that, I think we both agree."

We arrived at the Louise Phillip room, one that Christine had come to call home.

"If you're not warm enough," I began. "There are spare blankets in the closet... here, across the hall."

"Thank you, Erik."

"Sleep well, mon ange…"

When Christine went inside, I walked to my own room, closing the door behind be and changing out of my suit. After placing on my robe, I threw another log on the fire and crawled into my casket, already feeling sleep closing in on me. I found myself in a peaceful slumber, being wakened by a horrible nightmare. There weren't many nights when I would be able to sleep peacefully for long, for my childhood horrors always seemed to pop in my head at some point in time. Yes, they say one cannot feel pain in dreams, but I do….Oh, how I do. If my master whips me, I feel the leather bullwhip burning into my back. If I break a mirror, I feel the shards of glass tearing into my wrists. Tonight, not only had I been whipped, but I had smashed a mirror as well. I woke out of breath, sweat pouring down my face. Just to be sure everything was all right, and it had just been a dream, I pulled up my sleeves, noticing the scars on my wrists and no blood…I sighed, for I had been dreaming.

Knowing that I wasn't going to sleep anymore tonight, I rose from my coffin, tying my robe tightly around my body and headed out to the kitchen. I stayed as quiet as possible, working swiftly at making tea to calm my nerves. There weren't many things that I feared, but my dreams were one of them. I took to my usual spot when my drink was finished, plopping down in my armchair that was in front of the fireplace. I placed my cup down on the side coffee table, folding my hands and staring exhaustedly into the flames. My eyes grew heavy with every second that passed, my head leaning against the side of the throne like chair.

"Erik?"

I felt a chilled hand against my neck, causing me to stir and jump up in fright. When I opened my eyes, I noticed that it was Christine who was standing before me. I must have frightened her as well…

"Maestro, I'm so sorry…"

I put up my hand in protest as I gasped for air.

"Forgive me, Christine." I began. "I'm not used to having guests staying with me over night. I don't think I'll ever get used to it."

"I couldn't sleep…"

"I hope it's not because of me? Was I too noisy?"

"No, I'm just not that tired."

"Would you care for some tea then?"

I stood up, but Christine tried to stop me, assuring that she could get it herself. I wouldn't listen to her though, for she was my guest.

"Please," I motioned to my chair. "Sit. I'll go into the kitchen and make you a cup. The water is already on the stove."

It only took a few moments to make my angel a cup of tea, coming back with it and placing it into her chilled fingers. Oh, my angel…she was cold!

"Your hands feel like death." I gasped, pushing my throne like chair closer to the fire.

"I can get up…" Christine said, her legs starting to rise.

"Don't… Erik shall sit on the floor beside you, like a loyal dog…"

There was silence, Christine's expression seeming worried.

"Christine, is there a reason as to why you couldn't sleep? Usually you're never up at this hour."

"I guess I'm worried is all."

"Worried about what?"

Christine was like a statue, frozen in time.

"Please, ange, you can tell your Erik anything."

"It's Raoul." she confessed. "He's been putting a lot of pressure on me lately."

"Such as?"

"He wants to be married as soon as possible."

My heart constricted. Married? My angel-Married? Oh, if she were to marry him I would never have a chance with her.

"Don't you wish to be married to him?"

My heart was racing as I sat there waiting for her answer.

"Yes…and no."

"I don't understand." I said. "How could Christine want to be married but doesn't want to be married? Are you not in love with him?"

"I am…but…" her fingers nervously traced the flower patterns that wrapped around her teacup. "When we are married, Raoul wants to move away. He wants to take me away to England."

This was even worse than having my angel married. Having her being married to Raoul was bad enough, but then, to have her taken out of my life completely…..Oh, I would die of a broken heart!

"England?" I growled. "You are the rising star in all of Paris. Why would he want to take you away from everything?"

"He says the environment is a terrible one for me to be in. Too many horrible memories…"

"You mean of me…"

Christine shrugged. "I assume that's what he means."

"And yet, here you are spending the night with the same horrible memory."

"Those are Raoul's words," Christine pleaded. "Not my own."

There was a moment of silence, my thoughts racing frantically through my mind. That fop was poisoning my angel's pure soul….

"Am I really all that bad, Christine?"

"No…" Christine gasped. "Never."

"Then why do you let your boy speak so ill of me?"

"Erik, I don't, really-Everyone believes you're dead….even him."

"Then why is it that he still wishes to take you away from this place?"

"I'm not ready to leave, Erik. Please believe me when I say this. This is why I haven't married him yet, why I'm staying here at the opera house, why I'm living life as I've wanted to live it."

"I doubt that this is the extent of how you've wanted to live your life. Yes, being a star is all sunshine and rainbows, but I have to ask, Christine….What is it that you really want?"

Christine smiled. Oh, how that smile always melts my heart.

"I love being a star, Erik, really, I do. At some point, I would want to marry and have children of my own. Perhaps a lovely little cottage….like the one papa and I lived in by the sea. I wouldn't need anything more once I have that. Raoul believes the most important thing in life is money, but the truth of it all is, that I'd rather be poor and happy than wealthy and miserable."

"Money cannot buy one's happiness." I said, thinking about the thousands of francs I demanded from the previous managers. Yes, I had money, but I was still as lonely and as miserable as I ever was. I would be even wealthier with being the owner of the opera house, but what did I have to show for it? Nothing…no wife, no family….not even an ounce of pure happiness to show for it.

"What about you, Erik?"

"Me?" I questioned. "What about me?"

Christine slid down off my chair, plopping herself right beside me.

"Yes…" she giggled. "What is your dream?"

No one had ever asked me what I wanted. It had been pounded into my skull to never think about dreams, for monsters couldn't have them. Monsters weren't supposed to think about love, or families….not even careers. Yes, I've always had a dream, but I was forced to put it in the back of my mind, never to be recognized again.

"Erik, please, tell me…" she grasped my hands with her own, a jolt of electricity shocking my heart. Oh, how it made me feel human….how it made me know that I was alive and breathing. The simple touch of a woman was all poor Erik ever wanted.

"It will be our little secret." she said. "I won't tell anyone, I promise."

What would be the consequences of telling my angel my deepest darkest dreams? To tell her what I have been yearning my entire life. Yes, it may have been a foolish wish, but it was all I ever wanted. I could trust Christine, for she has kept my survival secret, and has helped me recover in more ways than one.

I took a deep breath, hoping that she would not laugh at such a wish… If she did, I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to let myself go so far with her again. She had been the first person I ever told my true feelings to. I was like a clam, never releasing emotions to anyone….It had been drilled into my skull years ago that emotion was weakness, that crying was for babies and that a firm and fearless attitude was everything.

"I've always wanted to be loved."

I looked into my angel's eyes, expecting to see laughter, but instead, her smile slipped away, leaving an expression that screamed out _pity_…or was it perhaps concern?

"Erik…" my angel was speechless. She didn't even have the right words to respond with. Then again, she must have known that no one had ever loved me. Who could when I was born with the face of a demonic monster.

"That is such a simple wish." Christine protested. "To be loved…"

"Perhaps it is simple for you, but for me, it has never come true. My own mother couldn't even love me. She never kissed me, never embraced me…nor did she ever tell me that she loved me."

I put my head down, pressing my eyes closed and wondering why I had told Christine my inner feelings. It had been a mistake. She couldn't understand…no one ever could.

"So that's all you wish for? To be loved? That's your dream, Erik?"

"Love, and everything that comes along with it."

"Such as?"

"Hugs, kisses, marriage, consummation…"

"Erik, could I ask you something personal?"

Oh, what could be more personal than me telling Christine about my life's dream.

"Surely a man of your age has had to experience it at least once…"

"Experience what?"

"Forgive my French, Erik…" she paused. "Sex…"

Oh, to think…My Christine wondering about my meaningless sex life. But the truth of it all was, that I didn't have a sex life because I had yet to do so once…

"Who would want to?"

I could no longer sit, finding myself standing in front of the fire with my hands crossed behind my back. There was more silence, my body filling with such embarrassment. Me, a man of nearly thirty five and never, had I ever found myself rolling in the sheets with woman. Then again, I had never been in love, never knew what love felt like until I met Christine. When I am with her, my body is burning, my heart fluttering… I guess that's what love felt like…

"If you love someone…" Christine began. "Looks wouldn't matter. Appearances are only what's on the outside….It's what's on the inside that matters."

I took off my mask, looking down at it, my fingers pressing down violently into its porcelain. Curse this mask! For it had scared away women, scared away any possibility of experiencing the joys of the flesh.

"Try telling that to a woman."

Christine spun me around, staring me in the face. Oh, how could she bear to look me in the eyes…

"Erik, please know that your face brings no horror to me. You are a wonderful man…"

The grandfather clock in the hall began to strike in the hour of five, an hour when all ballerinas would be getting up and preparing for rehearsal. Our sleepover was nearly at its end, but I knew my angel would return to me again soon. We might not have been lovers, but our friendship was one bound tightly.

"Rehearsal is in an hour." Christine stated.

"Yes, so it is… Well then, I cannot let my angel go off to rehearsal without enjoying the most important meal of the day."

"Erik, really, you don't have to-"

"Nonsense, let me cook you breakfast. It will be good, I promise you…"

I turned to head into the kitchen, when I felt two arms wrap around my chest. I gasped, swearing that at that moment my heart had ceased from beating. Was this an embrace? My Christine was embracing me!

"Your dream is a wonderful dream, Erik…." Christine sighed. "Such a simple thing; love…"

"Simple and unreal…"

"No…" Christine spun me around, placing her hand against my distorted cheek. "Never unreal."

She embraced me from the front this time, placing her head against my chest, my sorry excuse for a nose inhaling the wonderful scent of her curls.

"I'd really like it if we could restart out singing lessons tonight after lights out…"

"Anything…" I said. "I'd like that."

"I'll come down after everyone has gone to bed."

I loved Christine's presence, and I would be looking forward to her visit tonight. Perhaps all hope in receiving love was not lost…Not even in receiving it from Christine.

* * *

><p><strong>Awwwww, Well, I'll try to get another chapter up before christmas, but no promises. I've been extra busy with getting ready and then planning my Phantom trip to New York next week. Please review!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Erik's POV**

My piano would never be the same. I spent the entire day tuning and repairing what I could before Christine's lesson. Later that evening, I walked out of my lair with my hands full of piano strings. I was walking to my garbage crate when I heard a far distant arguing. Curious, I finished throwing away my trash, and headed towards the rafters. Once there, I followed the angry voice until I reached the source….It was that fop! And he was yelling at my Christine. I stood there above them, quiet as a mouse, staying hidden as I watched tears stream down my angel's cheek.

"You're acting very strange!" Raoul barked.

"Raoul, please-"

"No, Christine! I came here last night only to find an empty bed in your dressing room."

"Raoul, I told you…" Christine cried. "I went to my father's grave."

"At midnight!" Raoul grabbed Christine's arm, pulling her close. "You're lying."

"I'm not, Raoul."

"Why are you even staying here? You have a home with me, at my estate!"

"I like staying here with the ballerinas, Raoul."

"What about our wedding, Christine?"

"What about it, Raoul?"

"You've been holding off on making any plans. Do you not want to be married, Christine?"

"Not yet, Raoul."

Raoul pulled Christine violently by her arm, causing her to cry out.

"And why is this?"

"I don't want to move to England!"

"Christine, listen to yourself! Your monster's soul lives here…the memories-"

"Are what?" Christine sobbed. "Bad? They're not, Raoul."

"There are millions of girls who would want to be with me, Christine, and I chose you….You should consider yourself lucky."

"Raoul-"

"You have a decision to make, Christine. But remember, if you marry me, we move to England, no exception."

That bastard shoved my angel and left…Oh, how I wanted to strangle him! I had to hold myself back from following him. When Christine was alone, she began to cry. Oh, how I wanted to comfort her, how I wanted to pick her up and coddle my angel in my arms, but alas, I couldn't, for I would be spotted. Instead, I wallowed back to my lair to await my angel's visit. While I waited, I played a mellow tune, thinking about the happiest memory I had with my angel. When she arrived, I stayed with my back turned, my angel's footsteps getting closer and closer.

"You're late…" I growled.

I didn't mean to sound angry, for I knew why she was late. If anything, I should have been easy with her.

"I'm sorry."

I let her slide, turning to see that her eyes were stained with tears. Oh, my poor, poor angel.

"Let's just get to our lesson."

I began to play the first verse to my opera, waiting to hear Christine sing. Though, when she began, I knew her heart and soul wasn't in it. Yes, she was singing, but it wasn't at her best. I stopped playing, never daring to look at her.

"Again…" I ordered.

When I began to play again, my angel's voice was even worse than before. Oh, how her nerves made her weak! I halted my playing once again, this time, turning to face her. Christine's eyes were red, her cheeks stained in dried tears.

"You're not even trying." I calmly replied. "Something is bothering you."

"I just want to sing." Christine snapped.

"No, Christine." I said. "You won't sing like yourself until you feel like yourself."

"I want to sing, Erik!" Christine was in tears now. "I came here for a lesson."

"You're upset, Christine." I said. "You won't sing like you should."

"Let me sing! Let me sing or I'm going to leave!"

"Then leave! You can't sing! You can't, not while you're in this condition."

And then, the unexpected happened. My angel stood to her feet, rushed right over to me, and struck me in the face. Her hand came at me so hard that my mask flew off of my face. I cringed, rubbing my sore cheek as she stood there in tears. I knew my angel was upset…. I knew she was acting out of desperation. And therefore, I did the only thing I could do, I stood up and marched to my bedroom, closing the door behind me and locking it. Damn that fop! Damn him to hell! I couldn't sleep, and therefore, I sat in my chair staring into the flames of my fireplace, until I became thirsty enough to venture out into the kitchen. It was extremely late when I emerged from my room, creeping down the hall, only to hear sobbing coming from Christine's. I stopped in front of her closed door, wondering if I should intrude or not. She hurt me… I never so much as touched her without her permission, and yet, she slapped me in the face. Disrespect on all ends, to be truthful.

But I couldn't be cruel, I couldn't be the cold hearted beast I was made out to be. I had a heart, at least when it came to Christine. She was my weakness in everything! I closed my hand around the door knob, taking hesitant steps into her room. My angel was in bed, her face buried in her knees as she sobbed. Oh, how it broke my heart to see her like that.

"Christine?"

My angel looked up, wiping her tears away.

"Erik…"

I didn't know what to do. I never comforted anyone in my entire life, so how was I to do it now? I wanted to make her feel better, I wanted to coddle her. The question was, would she accept me? Slowly, I approached her bed, pulling a handkerchief out of my robe and handing it to her. My angel took it from my grasp with shaking fingers, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose with the article.

"I'm so sorry, Erik…"

I nodded. "Erik forgives you."

"I was just upset. Raoul had me under a lot of pressure."

"Christine, it's all right. No more talk about him tonight. I was going out into the kitchen to make some tea. Would you like some?"

Christine nodded and rose to her feet. When I noticed her shivering, I tore away my robe and wrapped her body in it.

"Thank you…"

Once I was out in the kitchen, I pulled out a chair at my table and motioned her to sit. I went to work, filling up a kettle and placing it on the stove to heat up the water within it.

"Christine, would you like to talk about it?" I asked, taking a seat across from her.

"I'm so confused." she cried. "I don't know what to do."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to move to England."

"Then don't. You don't have to…"

"It's not so easy, Erik. Oh, if only you weren't a wanted man. I would have an excuse as to why I couldn't move away with Raoul to England. I could tell him how much I love our lessons, and how I love spending time with you."

Just the mere words put a dagger through my heart. Why couldn't I be handsome? Why couldn't I be the man she would want? I loved Christine! How I wanted to go to the rooftop and scream it! But I couldn't… Oh, how I couldn't bear the thought of embarrassing myself.

"Do you love him, Christine?"

Christine looked down at her hands, as if she didn't know.

"Raoul loves me…" she said. "And I know in my heart I love him too."

If I had to spend another moment sitting around and listening to stories about Raoul, I would surely go insane. Therefore, I rose from my seat and headed towards my piano.

"We shall speak in music." I called out.

My hands glided over the ivory keys, creating a song that explained my every sorrow, every lonely moment ever lived. This song was me. I would always be alone, and I knew there was no changing it. Christine would marry her boy, even though I hoped for the complete opposite. Was a life with me really all that bad?

"Why must your music be sad, ange?" my Christine softly asked.

I pressed my eyes closed. "Because Erik has no reason to be happy."

"Erik, don't say that…"

I continued playing, never expecting my angel to place her hand against my neck. I sighed, for it felt amazing…. Never had I ever felt something as good as this. But did Christine stop? Of course not…. Next thing I knew, she was in my lap. I gasped upon feeling her center placed up against my own. But my fingers continued playing, even when she leaned her lips down and kissed me…. Oh, she was kissing me! I never felt a kiss before, and oh, how wonderful it felt! But why? Why was my angel kissing me? She didn't love me….Did she? Of course not!

"Christine…"

I pushed her away from me, standing up to adjust my wrinkled shirt. This girl was acting out on mixed emotions, fear and sadness.

"Maestro-"

I held up my hand in protest, feeling my heart about to explode from within my chest. It hurt worse to have Christine kissing me out of pity than to have her never kiss me at all. I always kept myself shut up like a clam, never revealing my true feelings in fear of rejection and embarrassment. But this girl, this angel had asked me questions that I couldn't stop myself from answering. I would do anything for her, and yet, she wouldn't do anything for me.

"You are excused, Christine." I growled.

"But-"

"Go back to your lover. It is apparent what you want in life."

"Erik!"

My angel called for me, but I was already to my room, slamming the door closed and locking it behind me. I braced the walls of my coffin, my palms crushing the wood with all its might, and yet, never denting any part of it. How I wanted to toss the cursed thing across the room!

Tonight, I had been kissed, and at the same time, I had been rejected by heart. To put my mind at ease, I spent the remainder of the night sitting at my desk working on music until I collapsed from pure exhaustion during the wee hours of the morning. When I woke, there was someone knocking on my bedroom door. I sat up, only to be met with a horrid back ache from sleeping hunched over my work. I cursed at myself, for it wasn't the first time I fell asleep in a crippling position and I doubted it would be my last. I stretched myself, approaching the door to open it. When I did, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and looked up to see Nadir standing there.

"Erik, I expected you to be in there."

I peeled away my mask and rubbed my sore cheek.

"Your point?"

"I was going out to breakfast."

"Good for you." I said, turning back to my paper work.

"Would you like to join me?"

"Why would I want to join you?" I asked. "Walk out into pure daylight and eat pancakes and drink tea-"

"I invited Christine."

My pen dropped from my fingers. He asked Christine? Nadir, asked Christine to join him? How dare he!

"I thought she needed some time outside, some good food in her stomach."

"What kind of trickery is this, Persian?" I barked. "How dare you ask Christine to join us."

"Erik, why are you acting like this? Has something happened between the both of you?"

"No." I assured. "Nothing."

"Good. Now are you coming or not?"

"No."

A few moments after Nadir left, I heard a knocking at my door. I believed it to be Nadir again, but when I opened it, it was Christine.

"Erik, I'm sorry for what happened last night."

"I thought you were going out to breakfast with Nadir..."

"I decided this was more important."

"Don't apologize, Christine."

"And why not? I…I don't know what came over me last night."

"You were confused." I began. "About Raoul, about everything, even me."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because." I said. "Who would ever want to kiss me."

Silence overtook us, and then, I invited Christine into my kitchen.

"Would you like some tea?"

She nodded, and I lead her into my kitchen.

"Erik, don't tell me that last night-" she paused. "Erik, that wasn't your first kiss?"

"Why not? You'd be surprised what this body hasn't experienced."

Christine gasped. "Erik, I'm so so sorry. I didn't know, really…"

"It's fine-"

"Erik, I didn't mean to upset you."

I pressed my eyes closed, raising my hand up to stop her from trying to apologize.

"Christine-Just…It's fine."

Silence occurred for a moment more. And then, like before, Christine broke it.

"Raoul wants me to stop singing."

I had been pouring water into a cup,my spoon nearly fell out of it upon hearing this. How could he! Damn him to hell! My angel had a gift, one that needed to be shared with the world.

"Is that what you wish to do?" I firmly asked. "After all the hours we worked? After everything?"

"No." Christine gasped. "Never."

"Sometimes, Christine, I believe that you would do just that. I believe that you would do anything to satisfy that fop of yours."

"Erik, never."

"Right." I said. "He says "Jump" and you say "How high?"

"Erik, you're being rash. I didn't say I was quitting. This is why I can't speak seriously when something is bothering me."

"And why is that?"

"Because you always assume the worse, Erik. I can't even express my feelings to you without having you scream and yell at me."

"What are you saying? Do you wish for this relationship to continue? Or do you wish for that fop to whisk you away to England where he'll make you nothing more than a voiceless breeder."

"You're so cruel."

"If I am, it is only because the world has made me that way. You are an angel, Christine, one that should be shared with the world. That fop wants you for himself, to trap you up in a tower, like a princess…"

My angel didn't say a word more. Oh, how awkward it was, and yet, I couldn't help but wonder why I had invited Christine into my home!

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry!<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

Ok, please go back and read chapter 7 over again. I made a huge mistake...One, that I didn't even know. I must have pasted a wrong section in there cause that whole "Erik running the opera house" thing is not what it seems. Erik is still in his lair playing dead, this I assure you. Sorry for the mixup guys. But I have like 20 chapters of this written already and I must have hit the paste button by accident. If you all go back and re-read it, I assure you that you won't be confused any longer. Thanks...


	9. Chapter 9

**Erik's POV**

After a cup of tea, and awkward silence, Christine had gone her separate way, and I knew she was probably planning on going to her father's grave. When she left, I found myself heading up the corridors to the closest window just to see her walking off in the snow. Oh, I would die for her!

"So, how did breakfast go?"

I heard Nadir's voice, only to turn around and see him standing there in the hall. And he calls me a stalker!

"So, that was your plan." I quarreled. "Pretend like you're going to breakfast, and then convince her to come speak with me?"

"It was a good plan, wasn't it." Nadir was smiling, and if there was anything I wanted to do, it was wipe that grin straight off his face with my fist.

"Your plan has failed." I said. "Just like everything else. Christine and I are no closer to being together than we were this morning."

"And why is that? You two have such great chemistry."

"If you say so. Anyway, I must get back to work."

"Work? Man, the woman of your dreams is walking towards her father's grave. Why not join her?"

Oh, why wouldn't he just leave! Nadir patted me on the back, a gesture that made me cringe. Oh, how I wanted to turn around and punch the man in the face!

"I'll be out on stage if you need me."

When I was alone again, I looked out the window at the falling snow. When I could no longer stand there and wonder about Christine, I sighed and found myself destined to follow her to the cemetery. A walk would do me some good. By the time I made it to the cemetery gates, Christine's footprints were covered by newly fallen snow. I entered the gates, slowly approaching Gustave Daae's grave. I approached slowly, stopping when I heard Christine praying and speaking to her father. It seemed wrong to distract her, and wrong to listen in, but what choice did I have.

"Papa, I am not sure where to go. Raoul wants me to stop singing and move with him to England. I can't…I love Raoul, but-Oh, papa, there is another man. He is kind, and caring. Sometimes I believe he loves me so much that he'd marry me in a second. Then again, there are times that he's so cruel, that I would be afraid to be with him. I think he is incapable of love."

This stopped my heart. Incapable of love? Me? Incapable of love? I loved her! I loved Christine with all my heart! Incapable of love!

"Sometimes, I believe he wants me by his side to cure his loneliness. Then again, when I try to be with him, he wants to be alone. I don't understand him, papa. You sent him to me. He is my angel of music, and yet, he can be such a monster at times. This morning he and I had tea, and he hardly said a word."

I waited a few moments after she was finished praying, before approaching her.

"I was hoping to speak with you."

My angel turned around, gasping when she saw me standing there.

"Maestro, I wasn't expecting-"

I nodded. "I know. I just needed to take a walk is all."

Silence overtook us, and I approached the grave, looking over Gustave Daae's grave.

"The great Gustave Daae, musician and father." I said. "He left this world too early."

"Perhaps he did." Christine said. "But if he didn't die, then I would have never came to the opera house, or met you."

"God, being the cruel man that he is can be both giving and taking at the same time. Sometimes he plays mind games with one…other times he can be generous."

I brushed some snow away from his headstone, turning to face Christine.

"It's cold out here, Christine. Would you like me to walk you back?"

Christine nodded, and I helped her to her feet. She and I walked side by side as the snow continued to fall, heading back to the opera house.

"I don't particularly like eavesdropping, but I caught you praying for your father."

"Erik-"

"No, Christine. Some of what you said really struck a nerve. I know what I am, Christine. I can't help myself from being what I am. Though, if there is one thing I am capable of, it's feeling love. I can feel love, I can taste it, I can have pain, just like every other human being. It is because I refuse to show it that you believe me to be incapable of it."

"You're so emotionless, Erik."

"Would you rather me express my feelings? Be happy with nothing to be happy about?"

"Erik, what's there not to be happy about? You have the opera house, Nadir and…Um, Nadir."

"Yes, exactly, Christine. I can either put up with ordering people around, or, I can listen to Nadir babble on about ridiculous nonsense. I barely sleep at night. You know this, ange…What I wouldn't give to have a good night's rest."

We were at the opera house now. Once inside, I led Christine down the corridors to reach my lair. I had walked her home, so the least I could do was dry her clothes and warm her up.

"Erik, tell me what was so terrible in life that you became the way you are? Please tell me."

"I don't care for people, Christine. They have done cruel things to me, too cruel to sit here and discuss. The reason I cannot sleep is because I get nightmares of past events."

"It's all right, Erik." Christine took a seat in my armchair. "I haven't slept well in the past few weeks either. There is too much on my mind."

"Such as?"

"Everything. Raoul, my life, my career…just everything."

I was in the kitchen, making tea as I listened to my angel speaking. Everything? My angel was worried about everything? I came back with two cups of tea. One for herself, and one for me. I sat there on the floor, at her feet like the loyal dog that I was. She thanked me and sipped on the hot drink.

"Christine, I know this might not sound meaningful coming from me, but I need to tell you something."

"Yes?"

"I may not be an expert on courting, but I do feel that if you're in love, you shouldn't feel worried. I mean, I would never want to feel worried if I was with the one I loved. When you're with somebody, you're supposed to feel enlightened, happy, excited."

"And have you ever felt like that before?"

I paused, sipping on my drink. My Christine had caught me at a standstill. Had I ever felt like that before? Of course not.

"Sadly not, ange. There are things people like me are never supposed to feel, and those feelings are one of them."

"Not even once?"

I stood, standing with my back turned towards her. I stared into the flames of my hearth, thinking about anytime I had ever felt happy. The only time I could think of was when ever I was with Christine….before Raoul came into the picture. Before Raoul, it was just my angel and I. Endless hours of music and conversation. Those were my happiest memories.

"I was always happy, Christine. I used to be the happiest man in the world. I fell in love with a girl who was nothing more than a little child, begging to learn how to sing. To Paris, she was still nothing, and I loved her then. Even now, when she is famous and a household name, I still love her."

"Erik, what are you saying?"

"Isn't it as clear as day, Christine? You said it yourself. You would rather be poor and happy rather than rich and miserable. With that, it also includes lovers. Do you really believe that Raoul would have sought you out if you hadn't been the star?"

"What?"

"Raoul." I said. "Do you really think he would have loved you if you were still in the chorus?"

Christine was speechless, so speechless that she just shrugged her shoulders.

"Exactly. Life is about connections and what your status is. Could you marry a poor man, Christine? Could you fall in love with someone of a lower class?"

"Yes." she mewed. "I was of the lowest, and therefore, I wouldn't expect better."

"Ah, but that's the question isn't it? Could Raoul do the same?"

Tears were streaming down her cheek now. Oh, I had upset her, but nothing that I had said was a lie. If not for me making Christine the soaring star that she was, Raoul wouldn't have even given my angel a second glance. I, on the other hand, had always loved her. I would love her tomorrow if she hadn't a penny to her name.

"Do you also truly believe that Raoul would be there for you through sickness and in health? That he would be at your bedside, if you were dying of fever."

"I would hope that he would be."

"Hoping will get one nowhere, Christine. Sometimes, the ones who love us dearly are standing in front of our own very eyes, and yet, we don't give them so much as a single glance. I am capable of love, Christine. I hope I have proven that to you within the last ten minutes."

Once again, Christine was speechless. I finished my tea, angrily sipping on the final few drops and marching over to my piano.

"This is exactly why I keep myself shut up from the world and all emotion. In the end, it can only lead to heartache."

I played my piano, not paying attention to what Christine was doing, nor did I care.

"I rather enjoy it when you express your emotions."

I paused from playing.

"You have the most beautiful way of expressing your feelings. It may sound strange, but the way you talk about things makes it seem as though you carry heavy feelings for me?"

"Yes." I gulped. "I do. More than you can ever know."

"More than friends?"

I felt her hands against my neck now. I closed my eyes and answered her.

"Yes."

"More than a brother and a sister friendship?"

Her hands were now caressing my cheeks, her left hand slowly peeling away my mask.

"Most certainly."

"More like lovers?"

Once more, I paused, thinking about what would happen if I truthfully answered her. I loved this woman! How I wanted to scream it over and over again. But to lie, would only push her farther and farther away from me. No, she needed to know the truth.

"Yes."

Everything happened so fast… One moment I was sitting there facing my piano keys, and the next turned towards her and kissing! Christine was kissing me! I never felt something so passionate, and oh, how I burned for it. Next thing I knew, she tore away my mask and caressed my deformity. Oh, a touch! How a simple touch made me burn. My lips moved to her neck, kissing the tender flesh feverishly. This was a sin, it surely had to be! My angel groaned against my neck, causing me to do the same. Everything sped up, my heart rate being one of them. I lifted Christine into my arms, carrying her down the hall and into her room. I laid her down on her bed, never breaking away the kiss. I was about to break away, but Christine pulled me on the bed with her. As I continued kissing her, I felt Christine's hands running up my shirt. Her fingers began pulling away at each button. Never! Oh, never had I ever had this happen to me before. Such a wonderful sensation was occurring throughout my body, my trousers becoming harder to continuing wearing.

"Oh, Christine…"

My hands nervously shook as I placed them on either sides of my angel, pulling back the robe that was wrapped around her body. Yes, I should have stopped this, but I couldn't…I wouldn't… Oh, how I've wanted this my entire life! How I wanted to make love to Christine. Her hands slipped beneath my sleep trousers, an action that sent my soul flying…

"Oh, Christine, yes…" I cooed into her curls as her hands pleased me.

My angel was beautiful, oh, so beautiful! Her body shaped like a goddess, one more beautiful than any building in all of Rome! I loved her, oh, how I've loved her! Our bare chests crashed up against one another's, my breath slowly escaping my lips. Flesh on flesh! Oh, Erik would have never thought such a feeling would be so wonderful. Never had I had anyone beg for me, and my Christine was doing just that! I was kissing her neck feverishly, her voice moaning so softly in my ear. We were naked now, our bodies lying up against one another, my heart racing a mile a minute. I was nervous, for I had never done this before…. A man of my age should have been experienced, but sadly, pictures in books were the most experience I had ever gained.

"Are you sure?" I breathlessly gasped.

"Yes…" she called. "Yes, Erik…"

I took a breath to calm my nerves, before joining us both. I could tell my angel was uncomfortable, for it was her first time, but I paused every few moments to allow her body to get used to me. When I was fully joined with her, I hovered above her, taking in the amazing feeling of being one with my angel.

When she began to move, so did I, and oh, what a feeling it was! I thrust into her, our voices singing like a beautiful symphony. Harder, softer! I replied to every order my angel begged of me.

"Erik…"

My angel's voice called for me, never letting up for a single moment. When we both found our finish, we plopped down beside one another, gasping for air and smiling. Had I ever smiled before?

"Christine, I-" I didn't even know what to say. I was embarrassed, embarrassed and worried that I had disappointed her.

"You were wonderful, Erik."

Christine snuggled her head into my scarred chest, her fingers tracing over my scars.

Wonderful! Wonderful! My angel called me wonderful! I was happy with that…Oh, so happy. Yes, I should have moved from her bed and went back to my room, but I couldn't. I was here with my Christine.

"Christine?"

"Yes, Erik?"

"Is this real?"

She smiled.

"Of course, Erik. Why wouldn't it be?"

"I just want you to be happy, ange…I want you to do what makes you happy."

"You're a good man, Erik."

My angel kissed me my first kiss goodnight. We both fell asleep that evening, curled up in one another's embrace. It was the best night's rest I had ever gotten, for my nightmares did not return that evening. When I woke the following morning, Christine was no longer in my embrace. I reached over, expecting to feel her body, but instead, there were cold sheets.

"Christine?" I groggily called out her name, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Christine?"

When my angel didn't answer me, I stood up, reaching out to wrap my robe around my naked body.

"Christine?"

I walked all around my lair, expecting to find her, but she wasn't anywhere to be found. I wasn't worried, for my angel would return, I knew she would. Happiness….Such happiness. I was no longer pure, for I had made love! And to my angel! Oh, such a wonderful thought! I loved her…Yes, I loved her! Surely things have changed! Surely she would feel love for me now… I rushed around my lair for the remainder of the day. I knew what I was going to do… I knew what I was going to do for my angel. I would make her dinner… Her favorite! I would set the table, candle light and all. And then, during dinner, I would confess my love for her.

My body was aching by the time I finished setting the table. I finally took a seat, folding my hands and waiting for Christine to arrive for her lesson. When I heard the door to my lair opening, I stood up, ready to greet Christine, but instead, it was Nadir.

"Man, what in the world did you do?"

Nadir came around the corner with a newspaper in hand.

"Nadir, I'm in the middle of a very important date…"

"Oh, really, I hope it's alone…"

"Nadir, really… Christine is going to be here at any-"

But I never got to finish, for Nadir threw the paper down in front of me, and the moment I saw the front headline, my body went ridged.

_"Viscount marries renowned Opera Diva Christine Daae"_

It was over.. My world came crashing to an end… She didn't love me, and last night, was not what I had expected it to be. At that moment, my heart had been torn out of my chest. Oh, woe to Erik! When I told Christine I wanted her to do what makes her happy, that didn't mean up and leave me to marry Raoul. I had thought that she was happy with me, that we would start a life together… But instead, Christine was gone, and married to Raoul. Not only had I lost my leading diva, but also my best friend.

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><p><strong>Hey everyone, sorry again for the last chapter mix up. Please review and I hope everyone had a nice christmas. I know I did...Well, off to see Phantom in NY on Wed...Be back soon with more chapters!<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Erik's POV**

How can someone feel all the happiness in the world, only to have it drained from their body within a single second? That's exactly how I felt upon finding out about my angel. For days, I waited for her to return, but she never did. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months… My life was meaningless without her. I fell into a deep depression, spending most of my time wrapped up within my coffin. Each time I would pass her room, I couldn't help but think of her. Christine was all around me… And when I would stare into her room, I would see her bed, and the crinkled covers from when we made love. I hadn't bothered making up the bed, for there was no reason for it. My opera house went on to soar to greatness once again, but with Carlotta as the lead soprano. If there was anything I loathed, it was her voice echoing down to my lair as Paris applauded the woman! My entire life I had felt nothing but sadness, but this…this feeling was lower than low…it had to be the epitome of the earth! I was not happy, nor could I be, not without Christine.

"Erik, come on man…"

I was laying in my coffin one morning- Or was it perhaps afternoon? Maybe it was the evening. I wasn't sure, for I never kept time, not anymore. Though, once in a while if I heard Carlotta's screechy voice echoing down to my lair, I would know that it was the evening. Nadir frequently came down to my lair in order to make sure that I was eating, but most of the time I wasn't even doing that.

"Erik, you've been laying in that casket for days." Nadir groaned. "Come on, man…"

I wasn't even facing him, for I didn't plan on moving.

"Erik, Christine has been gone for nearly eight months now. I think it's time that you began living again. I'm here…"

"You're here…" I stated. "When has that ever been a good thing."

"Erik-"

"No, Nadir. I'm in no mood for games. If anything, I wish I would die."

"Erik, you're the one who wanted to run this opera house. And quite frankly I've been the one doing so for the past eight months. You hardly tell me what to do with anything anymore, and you haven't written a blasted aria since Christine left. I've been using old manuscripts for shows."

"Without Christine, there is no music."

"Erik, will you please come out of this dreaded lair?"

"I refuse, Nadir…"

"Rehearsals for Hannibal are starting within the hour. Will you not join me in box five to watch them? Please, Erik. You need to get out of this house. Christ, why don't you lock the door to Christine's old room? You've left it as she had, Erik… Horrible memories."

I couldn't take this any longer! I sat up within my casket, looking at Nadir with tear stained eyes.

"Don't you ever say that about her, Persian! Her room is not a horrible memory."

"The blankets are wrinkled, making it obvious that she up and left pretty fast."

Oh, how I wanted to tell Nadir what Christine and I had shared, but I couldn't… I'm not even sure he would believe me if I told him.

"Erik, please come with me today…"

I knew Nadir wasn't going to leave unless I agreed to go with him, and so, I agreed. I hadn't been out of my lair in weeks, and I wasn't in the mood to do so today. There I was, hidden up in box five with Nadir, looking down at Carlotta as she rehearsed her part in Hannibal. Just the mere sound of it made my ears bleed. Oh, where was my angel? Where was my Christine. I wasn't even paying attention to rehearsals, really. Was music even my life anymore? How could it be when I couldn't even concentrate on music without my Christine being present? Oh, she was my muse-My beautiful muse.

When I could no longer take Carlotta's singing, I stood from where I was sitting, Nadir looking at me as I did so.

"Where are you going?"

"Far away from here…" I growled.

But, it wasn't very far at all, just my angel's old dressing room. No matter how hard I tried to rid my angel from my mind, I could seem to do it. When I entered her dressing room, her rosy scent filled my nose, images of her sitting at her vanity brushing her chocolate curls plagued my mind. Oh, how I missed her. It had only been eight months, eight months too long. At last, I found myself leaning face to face up against her mirror, placing my palm flat on the glass, expecting to see her standing behind it. Come to me! Please, oh, Christine…Just one image is all poor Erik begs for. But there was none. I placed my head on the cool surface, closing my eyes tight as silence surrounded me.

"I'd thought I'd find you here…"

I opened my eyes, seeing Madam Giry's reflection through the mirror. She was coming through the door, closing it behind her.

"Madame, I am hardly in the mood for your presence."

"Oh, I guess you don't want to hear the news…"

"News?" I growled, banging my head against the glass.

"Oh, haven't you heard? Monsieur Viscount has passed away."

My eyes opened, and my heart stopped.

"You lie."

"Me? Lie, monsieur? I am only telling the truth. A carriage accident."

"And Christine?" I gasped. "Is she all right?"

Madame Giry nodded. "She was not with him when this accident occurred."

"How did you come across this information?"

"Christine wrote me recently…"

"So, she's writing you now?"

"Did you know, monsieur, that she is with child?"

Oh, how my heart hurt! That bastard had gotten her pregnant…She was going to be left to raise the child on her own. My mother was a single parent, and I knew just how hard such a task can be. I, myself, was a handful, a handful that only wished to be loved. And then, I asked Madame Giry the question that has been boggling my mind.

"Has she mentioned me in any way?"

There was a long silence, and then, the disappointing words I hadn't hoped for.

"Erik, she hasn't said one thing about you."

At that moment, I knew I had meant nothing to her! Nothing! My eyes were burning with tears, my body aching with more pain than I had ever felt before. She didn't love me… Christine did not love me!

"If she happens to ask…" I growled, pushing my way past her. "I died of a broken heart."

Later that evening, I sat at my piano that was in my lair, pressing down on a few keys, not really in the mood to make music. Without Christine's smile, there were no symphonies to be made. In my kitchen, Nadir bounced around, making unbearable clattering as he prepared dinner. I wasn't much in the mood for eating, nor have I ever been. But, I had made my own hell by allowing myself to ever think that perhaps I would be accepted as a manger. No, instead, I was forced to have a body fill in for me…

"Here, Erik, drink this…"

Nadir placed a cup of tea down in front of me, but I was hardly interested in it.

"Erik…" Nadir placed his hand beneath his chin as if trying to make a sick dog eat. I placed my head down on the piano and deeply sighed.

"Is there not one thing in this world that would lift your spirits, Erik?"

But I did not answer him.

"Erik, please answer your friend. You don't look so well, not well at all."

Nadir took a seat beside me, speechless on what to say to me, speechless on how to make things better.

"Man, if this is about Christine-"

"Leave me alone, Nadir!"

"Erik, we need to get you out if this lair. You need fresh air… " he paused, and then smiled, as if he had the solution. "I've been going to this gentleman's club on the other end of town. I would really like it if you joined me tonight. There are a few really nice girls there that would be inspired by a well traveled man like yourself."

"No thank you…"

"Come now, Erik. Please, just do this for me. You need a night out in the fresh air."

"I don't enjoy going out into public. Besides, I'm a wanted man."

"Ah, that's why I've been constructing this for you."

From out of nowhere, Nadir produced a flesh colored mask, one of my exact skin tone.

If you wear this, no one will ever know who you are. Come now, Erik, it's time to get some life into that body of yours."

My heart was aching, and the last thing I wanted to do was go out, but I was tired of laying around in my lair, tired of being alone. All I ever thought about was Christine and perhaps a little time out would clear my mind. I put on that horrid mask, walking around with Nadir on the streets of Paris like any normal man. When I wore the flesh colored mask, no one could even tell that there was something wrong with my face. Oh, what a relief it was. When we arrived at our destination, I became uncomfortable, for this was not a gentleman's club, it was a brothel! Yes, nicer than some of the ones on the other end of town, but being in such an atmosphere did not suit me.

Nadir pushed me towards the bar and took a seat beside me, the smell of tobacco and sex filled the air. Half dressed women romped around, the usual ones that knew Nadir paraded around him and teased his neck with their large plumes. I kept my back turned however, and kept to myself, even when I felt the softness of one of the plumes touching my neck… It was a tickling sensation, one that filled my body with pure ecstasy. I had never been to one of these places until now. Yes, in Persia there were plenty, but I wasn't interested in exploring the bodies of women who would never love me.

"Nadir, who's you're handsome friend?"

Yes, the woman's voice was sweet, but I knew she only wanted me because she thought I was rich by how I was dressed. Wearing a suit and overcoat could make anyone think you came from money.

"That, Victoria, is Erik. He's a good friend of mine…"

"Erik, is it?" the woman stood in front of me now. She was not as pretty as my Christine, but she certainly wasn't ugly either. She had red, curly hair and green eyes.

"Well, Erik, aren't you going to say hello?"

My heart was pounding from within my chest, for no one had addressed me by my name before, no one besides Nadir, Madame Giry and Christine, of course.

"What is it that you do for a living, Erik?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but Nadir answered for me.

"He writes music, Victoria."

"Music?" her eyes lit up. "I love composers. Music is everything… Without music, there is no life."

I looked away, seeing another woman teasing Nadir. It was obvious that he knew her. When the woman began to pull Nadir off of his chair, he patted me on the back and assured that he would return shortly. Oh, men! Why is it that the human race based everything around the need to make love! When Nadir's seat became empty, Victoria sat herself down, obviously still interested in speaking to me. Why, was beyond my wildest idea, for I surely was not interested in her. If only I could tear off my mask and see if she still held an interest. I highly doubted it, for Christine was the only one who had seen my face and still… Oh, I couldn't think about her! I wanted her to be here with me, not this strange whore.

"So…Erik…" she cooed, twirling her finger playfully in a lock of my dark hair. "What kind of music do you enjoy writing?"

"Every kind." I quickly replied.

"Perhaps you would like to show me, how one writes their music."

When I didn't respond, she giggled and cupped my cheek. Oh, how it brought back memories of my angel when she used to do this to me. In my mind, Christine's smile flashed before my own very eyes. How I missed her.

"Erik, are you listening to me?"

"Excuse me?"

Once more she giggled.

"Would you like to come with me?"

"Come with you where?"

Victoria found her way into my lap, something that woke every muscle in my body. I lightly gasped, as her hands ran up and down the fabric of my shirt.

"What's the matter, Erik?" she teased. "Haven't you ever had a woman before?"

I closed my eyes as her fingers brushed against my neck, causing me to lightly groan. Her lips moved to my neck, something that made me weak… Oh, to go through life without feeling this every night. When Christine had done this to me, I became as soft as putty…

"Oh, yes…" I sighed.

Her hands fumbled around my body, but at one point, I felt them at the side of my trousers, reaching into my pocket slyly in order to grasp hold of my wallet without me knowing. My body woke, for I knew the truth right then and there… She wanted my money and nothing more. I quickly turned back into the old Phantom that I was, grasping her hand tightly, the hand that was holding onto my wallet. She cried out in pain as I snatched it back and forced her off of me.

"You little whore! Do you enjoy pick pocketing innocent men!"

I grabbed my coat and walked out into the night air, my heart burning with every step that I took. The world was a cruel place! One with no compassion to be found. I was slipping, slipping and allowing myself to believe that any woman would want me. When I arrived home, I stripped off my clothes and entered Christine's old room, crawling into her bed for the first time in eight months. I laid there with my eyes closed, inhaling the scent of Christine that was indented into the sheets. This was pleasure…this was all I would ever know. That night was a memory and nothing more. I must have drifted off to sleep, for when I woke again, I heard Nadir's voice.

"I've been looking all over for you."

I didn't turn to look at him. No, I stayed still, laying there with my back facing him.

"Erik, crawling into Christine's bed won't bring her back."

"Right. Neither will paying whores to fuck me."

"Oh, Erik-"

"No!" I barked. "Is that what your plan was? To bring me to that despicable place and expect me to pay for my pleasure? That won't bring me happiness, Nadir."

"You deserve to feel it, if only once in your life, Erik."

"Feel what? Betrayal?"

"No, Erik… You know what I'm talking about. You've lived your entire life without ever experiencing sex. You need it… It will take your mind off of things."

"You mean Christine?" I snapped. "You're not helping, Nadir. Maybe that's your way of putting the memory of your wife to rest-"

"Erik-"

"No! Maybe that's your way, but it's not mine. You know nothing about me, for if you did, you would know that I am not as pure as you believe me to be. I fucked in my lifetime….Maybe only once, but I did."

"You did?" Nadir gasped. "You're lying…"

"Why would I lie about such a thing?"

"To get me off your back."

I sarcastically chuckled. "You would think that."

"Who was it with then?"

I didn't want to ruin Christine's name, so I didn't say another word. The last thing she needed was to be embarrassed and humiliated because she bed me, a monster!

"Well?" Nadir impatiently asked.

"Forget I ever mentioned it, Nadir."

Nadir sighed, and shook his head.

"Man, you really need to distress yourself. I was just trying to help you, Erik…"

"Don't help me…"

"Tomorrow is the last rehearsal before opening night." Nadir said, quickly changing the subject. "I think you should be there."

"Me? With you?"

He nodded. "That mask is certainly a good look for you. It will get you far…"

"I don't think-"

"I don't care what you think, Erik. We are partners! Don't you forget that."

"Someone will notice me…"

"No one has ever seen the opera ghost, Erik! No one besides Christine! Stop being foolish. You are quite a handsome fellow when you wear that flesh colored mask."

Nadir made it to the door, turning to face me one last time.

"Noon, Erik, on stage. Don't make me come back for you."

And when Nadir left, all I could do was look down at my only picture I owned of Christine and sigh.

"How can I be whole, when my heart is broken in two?"

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><p><strong>And we are back on track! Please review everyone. Sorry I didn't update last night...Had a long day in New York, but Phantom was awesome!<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**A DISASTER BEYOND MY IMAGINATION HAS OCCURED! **

So, here's what happened in a nut shell. My computer decided to go awall on me and delete alllllllll my stuff, before wiping out the hard drive. So, I had this entire story written and completed, ready to upload one chapter at a time...And now I have nothing. After two days of deciding what to do, I have come to the conclusion of not rewriting it... Sorry for those of you who enjoyed the first half of this story, but the good news is that I started another one and posted the first chapter. It's titled "Track Down this Murderer" and it's quite simular to this one. So, please forgive me, and I hope to see you all over there soon. This story will be getting deleted within the next two weeks after everyone has had time to see this notice.

Thanks, and I am sooo sorry,

Eriksangelofmusic4ever


	12. Chapter 12

**A DISASTER BEYOND MY IMAGINATION HAS OCCURED! **

I will not give a summary of what happened becuase my newest one is going to be just like this. I SWEAR TO U! Please, just take a breath and switch over to my new one. The plot line is going to be the same...This I swear!

Thanks, and I am sooo sorry,

Eriksangelofmusic4ever


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